Rocky Balboa (2006)

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young, Antonio Tarver, Milo Ventimiglia

Have I Seen It Before: Oh, sure. The thought that Stallone had one more good Rocky film in him was too tantalizing to pass up. Something about the film stuck with me after it was first released, and I might have been tempted to put it as the second-best film in the original, just ever-so-slightly chasing after the heels of the original Rocky (1976).

Did I Like It: And he did! While it’s at best a fraction of the movie that Creed (2015) eventually became, that’s only because Ryan Coogler is one of the greatest filmmakers to come to prominence in the last twenty years, whereas Stallone is an—often underrated—journeyman behind the camera.

Gone are the increasingly thin justifications to put Balboa back in the ring that increasingly dogged the previous three sequels, and the on-spec silly idea of an over-60 Balboa climbing into the ring one final, final time almost makes sense. It also helps—or at least improves things in comparison with Rocky V (1990)—that while Antonio Tarver isn’t the greatest actor who ever lived, he’s a more engaging screen presence than poor Tommy Morrison could ever hope to be.

Everything this improved here. If there’s a movie that can make me forget, if only for a moment, that I find Stallone on average to be a bit irritating, that’s an automatic recommendation. Had the out-of-focus image of Balboa waving to Adrian’s (Talia Shire; she might not have gotten a paycheck, but she sure as hell is all over the film), that might have been fine. Stallone had managed to get back to basics, not just in featuring a movie that doesn’t resort to comic-book contrivances*, but in making us feel for the underdog again. We may not be able to punch like the Stallion, but we’ve all got steps we’ve got to climb when conventional wisdom says we cannot or should not.

I may not care for Stallone very much, but I have a tremendous amount of affection for Rocky Balboa, and Rocky Balboa. I mean, it paved the way for Creed, so there’s at least something there.

*I’m not saying I’m not a fan of comic-book contrivances. I’m only saying that they feel more at home with Rambo, not Rocky.

Rocky V (1990)

Director: John G. Avildsen

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Sage Stallone

Have I Seen it Before: I’ve seen it less than all of the other Rocky films. That much I’m damn sure of.

Did I Like It: Does anyone? Even Stallone, and he wrote it?

There’s any number of things one might fixate on to reckon with the film, and while I’m tempted, I’ll avoid dwelling on Stallone recently calling a certain someone the second George Washington. That whole bit had put me off re-watching any of the Rocky films as of late, before I remembered that the lion’s share of the rights had been wrested from Stallone’s hands, an watching the series is not an act of support for House Stallone.

In re-watching the series, I’m struck again by how likable Balboa is. Never one to take a cheap shot, I have a hard time imagining he would hardly make such brain-dead comparisons. But, as all series re-watches must, one must hit the nadir. And so, in this uniformly accepted worst of the franchise, Rocky becomes a gibbering fool.

That’s the first problem. The second problem is nothing happens in this film. The Balboas lose all of their money, move back into the old neighborhood, meet a guy from Oklahoma* (Tommy Morrison, who makes other athletes turned actors seem like Brando in comparison), before Rocky gets into a brawl with that same Okie.

That’s it. That’s the whole movie. I’ve now saved you the trouble. You’re welcome. This is certainly a series that struggled with coming up for any kind of rationale for further entries, but this is the only film in the series that seems to exist for the sole reason than United Artists decided it had been a while since anyone made a Rocky film, and it was already way too late to get particularly bothered as to whether or not the story made any sense, especially since communism was once brought into the scenario.

No, I don’t really want to take on those subjects. The thing that really sticks in my mind is not any of the above mention plots, or lacktherof. It’s that apparently Rocky and Adrian (Shire; between this and The Godfather - Part III (1990), she wasn’t having the best winter possible) spent five Christmases in a row in Russia, thereby allowing Rocky Jr. (Sage Stallone, not nearly as bad as one would assume) to become the main source of a hopeful future for the family.

Brain damage, indeed. Oh, well. They can’t all be winners. At least I now get to re-watch Rocky Balboa (2006) again now.

*Thanks for that, Sly.

Rocky IV (1985)

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Dolph Lundgren

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, but let me tell you. We could dwell for a long spell on the fact that this is a film where the Balboa family buys—and incorporates into their family dynamic—a robot.

It’s a deeply perplexing turn in a series of films which is, at least nominally, about boxing. For years, it bugged me. Honestly, it should have bugged humanity. So, in the lead up to the release of Rocky Balboa (2006), when Stallone started answering questions coming from the readership of Aint It Cool News, I had the temerity to pose the question, and he answered it*. Honestly, he seemed kind of put out by being reminded about it. Cut to several years later, and apparently he included it because it was therapeutic to his autistic son and thus meant a lot to him. Had that been the answer back then, I might have felt bad about it at the time.

Did I Like It: Here’s a potentially controversial statement: If Stallone isn’t a truly great director, then he is certainly one of the most consistently underestimated directors. Truly, the fact that he was able to assemble one of the most beloved 80s cinematic confections, when the objective truth is that there is 40 minutes of actual plot here (the rest is filled with endless variations on the same montage), and that plot centers around a former low-level mob enforcer single-handedly winning the Cold War with his fists… Well, it’s a Rocky film, the fists aren’t even all that important. The guy defeated the Soviet Union by being able to take a punch.

I can’t account for how the film is so insanely watchable even now. So much so that it’s certainly on my agenda to take in Stallone’s recently released director’s cut.

I even hear that he cut the robot out of the new version. Maybe he felt bad about it, too.

*Don’t believe me? You can read about it all here. I swear to God I had a devil of a time trying to track down a 17-year-old article in the archives of a website which has essentially—and justifiably—been abandoned. Coming up short for the better part of an hour, I was starting to feel like Winston Smith quietly suspecting that the truth about Eurasia (or a robot named Sico) had been deleted by forces unknown.

Rocky II (1979)

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure.

Did I Like It: It’s been the one entry of the whole series (aside from the positively inert Rocky V (1990)) that I have re-visited the least.

For so many years, I had dismissed it as just Rocky (1976) except Balboa (Stallone, taking over directing duties here from John G. Avildsen) wins his fight with Apollo Creed (Weathers) at the end.

But that’s not quite right, I’ve realized. To say nothing of the fact that Tarantino went on and on about how this one is not only great, but perhaps even better than the original*, it was definitely worth a re-examination.

I’ve long defended Rocky III (1982) as the story of someone who may have peaked, and yet struggles to find a continuing source of the drive that got him there to begin with. This is—despite my deep, nostalgic-tinged love for it—the assessment of a fifteen year old. That quality that Stallone can—and eventually does—tap into in his sleep is really on full display here. At least it’s more poignant here, to a near 40-year-old. Finding drive after you have reached the unassailable top of your game is a story of interest to only a few. If these movie reviews somehow made me the next Siskel and/or Ebert, I don’t think I would be all that worried about keeping the hustle going.

As Rocky had his shot at the title, trying to move on from that glorious moment is something he’s just not that equipped to do. How does a hero move on from the reasonable conclusion of his story? he has to go through the ordeal all over again. That ethos that I always saw in the third Rocky had been staring at me in this one**. I’m going to have to re-order my order-of-preference for the series.

• I love you as much as the next guy, Q, but let’s get serious…

** Could it be that “Eye of the Tiger” recommends a movie that strongly?

Creed III (2023)

Director: Michael B. Jordan

Cast: Michael B. Jordan, Tessa Thompson, Jonathan Majors, Phylicia Rashad

Have I Seen it Before: No…

Did I Like It: The prospect of a Rocky movie without Sylvester Stallone is one I shouldn’t be in favor of, right? It’s like a Batman movie in the 90s without Michael Keaton, a James Bond movie without Sean Connery, or a Scream movie without Neve Campbell.

All right, I heard it.

It’s interesting that this film is released in the same month as Scream VI, as this film far more effectively move on from the massive shadow of its iconic central character and performance. That’s probably creditable to Creed II (2018), which I’ve spent the last few years in my mind as a serviceable but vastly inferior sequel to the first Creed (2015), but gave plenty of satisfying conclusion to Balboa’s story, to the point where we may not need to see him again*.

It also helps that both of those films helped establish Michael B. Jordan as an undeniable movie star, and Adonis Creed as a character we want to root for as much as for as his predecessors.

Jordan also acquits himself well as a director. The notion of directing a trilogy capper is daunting enough (with or without the full cast), but directing the ninth in a longer running series has to be an even taller order. What more can be done with this format? While the proceedings do run parallel with Rocky III (1982), Jordan adds an energy to the matches that make the punches feel different (he’s made no secret of Anime influences on the editing and staging, which is certainly something Stallone or John G. Avildsen would have tried). Does all of this make those fights less suspenseful than they had been in the past. I’m going to land on “no”, the fact that there is anything new here is something of a small miracle. Believing that things won’t work out for the main character is probably too much to hope for nine films later.

*A reaction I also had to Rocky Balboa (2006), but what the hell do I know?

Creed II (2018)

Director: Steven Caple Jr.

Cast: Michael B. Jordan, Tessa Thompson, Sylvester Stallone, and Dolph Lundgren

Have I Seen it Before: Well, no… But I’ve seen a Rocky movie before, so in a sense, yes… But don’t let that scare you away.

Did I Like It: Yes. What’s not to like?

Highly dubious spoilers about the film to follow.

Look, even if Ryan Coogler had directed the followup to his transcendent Creed (2015), it probably wouldn’t have been quite as searingly good as the original film, and in that parallel dimension, Black Panther (2018) is directed by some lesser mortal. So, as long as we get that out of the way, Creed II is still pretty terrific. Taking the bones of the most preposterous (not necessarily bad) Rocky movie and making a familiar rehash. But if this series is the Thanksgiving dinner of movies, then I’m glad that we still get a feast every once in a while. It is a delicious meal that cannot help but make one feel good.

It’s predictability may keep it from completely blowing the paint off the walls, but it does manage to throw some curve balls. Adonis is brought low in the second act not by losing his newly won Championship Title to the antagonist, but retaining it in a fight he was well on his way to losing, had not the referee’s ruling disqualified the Baby Drago (Florian Munteanu, who with his quiet anguis may take the title of best actual-boxer to play in these movies). That’s mildly surprising, but when Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren, doing easily his best work, lurching through scenes like a coiled snake ready to pounce) throws in the towel ending the final battle between the two younger fighters, my jaw hit the ground. I would have been highly dubious if someone told me that this movie could have easily been called The Redemption of Ivan Drago, but here we are, proving once and for all that if he can change, really, truly, everyone can change.

Cue the end of the United States’ current troubles with Russia, no?

Ahem.

Now, Stallone recently announced (although it wouldn’t be completely out of the question to guess that he might be engaging in contract negotiations through the press) that this will be his swan song as Balboa. I think I’m okay with this. As I mentioned in my review of Creed, I kind of assumed that our last ride with the Stallion had happened years ago, and if this is it, that’s okay. It was nice to get some extra time with him. But, with that doubt in the back of my mind, it might even be better that we may have more time with him yet to come.

Creed (2015)

Director: Ryan Coogler

Cast: Michael B. Jordan, Tessa Thompson, Phylicia Rashad, and (against all odds, as it should be) Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa

Have I Seen it Before: Man, I was there opening weekend.

Did I Like It: What a stupid idea for a movie, and yet it was executed flawlessly.

As the end credits for Rocky Balboa (2006) begin, a feeling always came over me. This is it. This is the end. It was great while it lasted, Rock. Thanks for coming back one last time.

And here we are, again. And man am I glad.

Just to pitch the idea for a seventh Rocky movie takes a certain amount of bravery-to-the-point of insanity, to then turn around and make such a vital, necessary film is an act of subtle, but superlative genius. To wit, this moment that I may be paraphrasing:

ADONIS

Why do you want to be a singer?

BIANCA

It makes me feel alive.

ADONIS says nothing, smiles slightly.

That is amazing. New and fresh and interesting and incisive like a blade.

And yet, it is Rocky through and through. The film is so steeped in the mythology of the previous entries in the series. The whole movie wouldn’t exist without Rocky IV (1985). Rocky would be a completely different character without Rocky V (1990) and Rocky Balboa (2006). Ever wonder who won the top secret fight at the end of Rocky III (1982), well this movie has your answer. Coogler and company love making a great movie, but they love every Rocky just as much. These movies have a format, but when the inevitable third act training montage comes barreling down the tracks, even it is born again, without ever being ashamed of its roots. 

When the book on the greatest directors of all time is finished, Ryan Coogler will get his own chapter, and Black Panther (2018) is only a piece of that.

As sharp as Coogler’s choices are, he would be nowhere without his cast. Michael B. Jordan cements himself as a bona fide movie star while still channeling Carl Weathers just enough. Tessa Thompson is such a fabulous actress, with a naturalistic chameleon quality that I only just now realized she is the same actress from Thor: Ragnarok (2017). And then there is Stallone. Frankly, he deserved the Oscar for this round as Rocky. He so thoroughly abandons any sense of ego he might have once had—and his self-image in the 80s was undeniable—to play a Rocky laid low, but still resolute. That there is more Rocky to explore is staggering.

Just as an aside, a weird moment that I hadn’t fully digested in previous viewings: The moment where Adonis (Jordan) does an impression of Brando from The Godfather (1972). Which leads me to this strange question: In the Rockyverse do both Adrian Balboa and the actress Talia Shire exist? Maybe Creed II (2018) will finally shed some light on that. Maybe it’ll take several more movies before we get that answer. That suits me just fine. Keep ‘em coming, Rock.

Rocky III (1982)

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Burgess Meredith Mr. T, and Hulk Hogan as essentially himself*

Have I Seen it Before: Honestly, I’ve probably seen it more than any other film in the Rocky series… Which brings me to…

Did I Like It: You’re going to call me crazy, but…

Rocky III may be my favorite of the Rocky films. I really, really enjoy this movie. You might say it’s entirely tied to Survivor’s superlative lets-get-pumped “Eye of the Tiger,” but my appreciation for this movie goes deeper. I own a framed poster of the movie. Now, my wife eventually asked that I take it (or as she refers to it “my framed photo of a greased, half-naked Sylvester Stallone) off the wall, but that’s a story for a different time…

Sure, the original is a classic, and Rocky IV is perhaps the most sublimely ridiculous 80s cornball comic book movie, and the fact that Rocky Balboa (2006) and Creed (2015) were able to get more blood out of that stone (or Rock) is a pretty impressive… But this movie is nearly the perfect distillation of what the Rocky series is. It’s the perfect blend of the heart and the cornball that made the series indelible, and helped it win the Cold War, in that order…

There’s a self-awareness to the proceedings that’s endearing when it isn’t purely entertaining, or more accurately, completely wrong. Mickey (Burgess Meredith) turns to Adrian (Talia Shire) during one of the more bombastic scenes and Another moment I can’t help but chuckle at is the boxing announcers assertion in the lead up to the climactic battle between Rocky (Stallone) and Clubber Lang (Mr. T) that this is “absolutely his last fight, win, lose, or draw.” That’s pretty funny, as I’m still not 100% sure that we’ve seen the Italian Stallion’s last fight… at least outside of the ring.

*Between this and Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990), I’m surprised to realize how many films I really enjoy feature the once and future Terry Bollea.

Rocky (1976)

Director: John G. Avildsen

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, and lest we forget Carl Weathers

Have I Seen it Before: Probably not as many times as I’ve seen Rocky III (1982). I’m not sure what that says about me.

Did I Like It: Hey, yo… I’m not—like—mentally irregular or nothin’.

I’m going to put a thought out there, and if somebody has a different take on this, I’d love to hear it. But if you haven’t already seen Rocky, then at this point, you’re probably not that interested in it. If you have, you probably already have opinions on not only it, but the entire cottage industry that stemmed from this little seed of a movie. With that, we’ll proceed.

It’s difficult to write about a film like this critically. It’s beloved, and with good reason. It is filled with heart, most of it coming from a single source—Stallone, writing but not quite directing—long before he developed the ego that caused some of his later work to drift into the increasingly absurd and occasionally obnoxious. The original film in the Balboa saga is so steeped in the aesthetic of bleak 70s cinema, but may be one of the most rousing film of all time. Most would say the feel-good streak in American cinema began with Star Wars (1977), but I think it started here and only grew as things progressed into the 80s.

It’s an odd movie to consider in context, though. It spawned (so far) seven sequels. That’s mind boggling if you isolate to yourself to the proceedings of this film. With it throwing its weight around during the ’77 Academy Award, extending its underdog bona fides via Stallone sudden propulsion to stardom, I can’t help but think of it in similar terms to Good Will Hunting (1997). Could you imagine seven sequels to that movie? Actually Good Will Hunting III: The Great Beyond (2005), wherein Matt Damon rips open the space-time continuum with his groundbreaking work at CERN  That would also make Affleck the modern Stallone in my book, which… You know, that actually tracks.