Director: John G. Avildsen
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Sage Stallone
Have I Seen it Before: I’ve seen it less than all of the other Rocky films. That much I’m damn sure of.
Did I Like It: Does anyone? Even Stallone, and he wrote it?
There’s any number of things one might fixate on to reckon with the film, and while I’m tempted, I’ll avoid dwelling on Stallone recently calling a certain someone the second George Washington. That whole bit had put me off re-watching any of the Rocky films as of late, before I remembered that the lion’s share of the rights had been wrested from Stallone’s hands, an watching the series is not an act of support for House Stallone.
In re-watching the series, I’m struck again by how likable Balboa is. Never one to take a cheap shot, I have a hard time imagining he would hardly make such brain-dead comparisons. But, as all series re-watches must, one must hit the nadir. And so, in this uniformly accepted worst of the franchise, Rocky becomes a gibbering fool.
That’s the first problem. The second problem is nothing happens in this film. The Balboas lose all of their money, move back into the old neighborhood, meet a guy from Oklahoma* (Tommy Morrison, who makes other athletes turned actors seem like Brando in comparison), before Rocky gets into a brawl with that same Okie.
That’s it. That’s the whole movie. I’ve now saved you the trouble. You’re welcome. This is certainly a series that struggled with coming up for any kind of rationale for further entries, but this is the only film in the series that seems to exist for the sole reason than United Artists decided it had been a while since anyone made a Rocky film, and it was already way too late to get particularly bothered as to whether or not the story made any sense, especially since communism was once brought into the scenario.
No, I don’t really want to take on those subjects. The thing that really sticks in my mind is not any of the above mention plots, or lacktherof. It’s that apparently Rocky and Adrian (Shire; between this and The Godfather - Part III (1990), she wasn’t having the best winter possible) spent five Christmases in a row in Russia, thereby allowing Rocky Jr. (Sage Stallone, not nearly as bad as one would assume) to become the main source of a hopeful future for the family.
Brain damage, indeed. Oh, well. They can’t all be winners. At least I now get to re-watch Rocky Balboa (2006) again now.
*Thanks for that, Sly.