The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Director: Tony Scott

Cast: Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, Chelsea Field, Noble Willingham

Have I Seen It Before: Never. It’s been sitting on my to-be-watched disc shelf for over a year, but then Circle’s Graveyard shift decided to close out the year with a Tony Scott double feature, and here we are.

Did I Like It: I’m reasonably sure I was over-hyped on this. Everyone talked to made it seem like it was such an insane example of a 1990s action movie, that by all rights it should have no business even existing.

It isn’t. It’s a pretty basic 90s action movie. Parts of it are funny, never less so than when I realized in the film’s opening minutes that we’re looking at what a Brit thinks of the American fascination with American Helmeted Rugby. Other parts of it don’t age so great, but no less. There are moments where the Michael Kamen score starts to get going, and I can almost imagine that this is a lost Die Hard film.

But it is, ultimately, just a movie, and another in a long line of similarly paced buddy action films written by Shane Black. The essential quality of this genre is accomplished, as Willis and Wayans have good chemistry, made all the more impressive—and unsurprising—that they didn’t get along. Did either of these two guys ever get along with their co-stars?

The moments where it is more a neo-noir piece centered on Bruce Willis’ private detective character, are intermittently clever. It’s not enough that an old friend (Bruce McGill) sets him on a routine job that turns out to be a massive case, but the old friend was hoping he’d get killed in the process, so that he can keep sleeping with Willis’ wife. The old friend promptly explodes.

I enjoyed myself, but make no mistake: you’re just watching a film. It won’t re-wrinkle your brain. What’s more, it’s not terribly interested in trying to do so, nor should it be.

Beverly Hills Cop II (1987)

Director: Tony Scott

Cast: Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Jürgen Prochnow, Ronny Cox

Have I Seen It Before: Maybe pieces of it? Probably not a great sign that I can’t honestly differentiate cable airings of either of the first two films from each other.

Did I Like It: That sameness can be somewhat of charming in a film series I  already love (I’m awkwardly looking in your direction, Back to the Future (1985)), but here going through the same beats and the same lines (I don’t know why I’m mainly thinking of Paul Reiser’s “This is not my… (blank)”, but I am) means that the whole affair is an exercise in everything that is bad about a sequel*.

In fact, there only seems to be two main difference between this and the first Beverly Hills Cop (1984). The only real difference seems to be is that you can see it in Murphy’s eyes. He’s not happy to be here like he was in the original. This feels like the beginning of a long slow descent for Murphy into frightfully unfunny family films. He only lights up when he meets Hugh Hefner, in a moment that seems to have been built solely to fuel a trailer. Murphy isn’t helped by Tony Scott, primarily not a comedy director, although he does do what Tony Scott does well enough.

If the film were smarter, and fresher, you’d think there would be plenty of room for Tony Scott to do his Tony Scott thing. But no, the Tony Scott-ness takes all the air out of the room and what we’re left with is a pretty okay action movie.

*I will admit I am saying all of this having as yet watched Beverly Hills Cop III (1994).

**I will admit I am saying all of this having as yet watched Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F (2024) (dumb title). Maybe he gets better?

Top Gun (1986)

Director: Tony Scott

Cast: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards

Have I Seen it Before: I’m sure I have. All of the “big” lines of the film hit something like a memory, but I can’t say I can point to a moment where I saw the whole film from beginning to end.

Did I Like It: And that’s maybe part of the problem. This is a movie of moments which don’t really hang together as a whole piece. That quality—a collection of pieces which don’t measure up to a complete whole—is endemic of a lot of 80s films. For instance, Rocky IV (1985) might qualify as a short if you take away all of the montage—although I haven’t seen the recent director’s cut.

One can almost feel Cruise aching to take more direct control over the films in which he appears, but for the mean time has to be content with being charming but restrained in films.

And there’s more than enough charm to go around. A Harold Faltermeyer score immediately launches any film into the territory of pure 80s confection, even those he scored outside the decade. The cast is never not charming, including not just supporting turns from Kilmer and Edwards, but also blink-and-you-miss-them performances from actors who would eventually go on to bigger things like Meg Ryan and Tim Robbins. Yes, Robbins hovers around the edges of the film, spending the run time as not much more than a glorified extra.

One wonders how somebody like Robbins drifted (and I assure you, he does drift) into a film with such jingoistic politics. A film treating the essentially inevitable outbreak of World War III as  the feel good turn for the third act would never be made out of the 1980s (at least, I don’t think it would, I’ll let you know when I finally get around to seeing Top Gun: Maverick (2022)) and probably shouldn’t be made by any reasonable person, ever. Maybe if it did try to weave together a more coherent, fuller package of a movie, it would be impossible to have any fun with it at all.