Deadpool (2016)

Director: Tim Miller

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T.J. Miller

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. Recently I’ve been trying to get over my physical media absolutism, if for no other reason than digital copies have been included with a lot of the discs I have bought over the years, and I’ve just been letting them languish as flyers in cases for so long. Incidentally? Anything now owned by Disney—including the Fox X-Men films, like Deadpool—will let you redeem your digital codes long after a possible expiration date is listed. Anything owned by Warner Bros. won’t let you even think about it. In fact, if you try to redeem a a GIF of David Zaslav appears on the screen and suggests you have an improper relationship with your mother.

Did I Like It: As I began this re-watch, I was honestly surprised that I haven’t watched this one since starting these reviews. But then I kind of got it. While Wade Wilson is a unique presence in comic book films, his humor works best on initial viewing, and on subsequent re-watches begins to resemble the noises—but not the material—of a Robin Williams stand up routine at best, or the ill-fated “Mr. Monopoly” bit from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995). Those might be two extremes, but the snesible middle ground may be to describe the whole affair as an attempt to jam a mid-2000s Judd Apatow comedy into the CGI-laden trappings of a superhero movie. Even seven years ago was Judd Apatow still making Judd Apatow comedies?

The film works at its best when it leans less on the merc’s mouth and more on trying to subvert expectations, especially where its awareness that it must be a cheaper version of the X-Men movies that haphazardly inspired it. Luckily, there are more than enough of those moments to make the entire film something more enjoyable than a chore.

Cloverfield (2008)

Director: Matt Reeves

Cast: Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, T.J. Miller, Michael Stahl-David

Have I Seen it Before: I skipped it in the theater, because who needs that kind of aggravation in their life, and I was able to watch the new teaser for Star Trek (2009) on my computer anyway. I caught it later.

Did I Like It: Matt Reeves is proving to be a terrific filmmaker. His work with Planet of the Apes breathed life into a franchise when literally no one thought there was any life left in it. What we’ve seen of his upcoming The Batman is pointing to it being the only possible way forward for that character post-Christopher Nolan.

So, why isn’t this film any fun?

Maybe I’m in a bad mood during this screening, and that can always skew a review that is meant to be a snapshot of how I feel about a film in the moment I am watching it, but I don’t remember ever being terribly delighted by the movie, so much so that I experienced a bit of a Mandela effect when I realized Matt Reeves directed here.

A bleak march into the inevitability of death might have been fun for some as a twist on the creature feature before, but in 2020 it feels like a sober prediction for the first week in December. You might want to check, but I think Nate Silver has the odds of Kaiju attack before the advent of a COVID vaccine at hovering right around 30%, which I’m thinking is about as close to metaphysical certitude as we’re likely to get these days.

The people are kind of quietly miserable before the monster announces itself. They are miserable as it wreaks havoc and they do they’re very best to not avoid danger. The monster is still alive at the end of the film, and every human we were supposed to care about—who bravely documented everything about the Attack of Clover long past the point of rationality—is dead.

That’s it. That’s the movie. And now I’m nauseous. What a delight.

At least it wasn’t The Cloverfield Paradox (2018).

Ready Player One (2018)

Director: Steven Spielberg

Cast: Tye Sheridan, Olivia Cooke, Ben Mendelsohn, T.J. Miller

Have I Seen it Before: Yes. In the theater. In 3d and IMAX. I’m not sure why I did that.

Did I Like It: Sure… Let’s go with that.

First bit of business when discussing this film. Yes, I read the book. It was shortly after its release. I thought it was fine, if slightly forgettable. Others have been very down on the work of the book. I neither fully agree or disagree with them. I also read author’s Ernest Cline’s second novel, Armada, which I really hated. I hated Armada so much that after listening to the audio book, I disliked narrator Wil Wheaton a little bit. The stink was that bad.

Early in the development of Ready Player One, there appeared to be a very real possibility that Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future (1985), Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)) appeared to be a lock for the director’s chair. This seemed like the right choice. With Roger Rabbit, he proved ages ago he could juggle an army of cameos from a disparate array of intellectual properties. That should have sealed the deal right there. With attempts like Polar Express (2004), Beowulf (2007), and A Christmas Carol (2009) he proved that—if by trail-and-error alone—he had more experience than Peter Jackson or James Cameron with the motion capture the film would require. Even if he would be forced to work with the DeLorean Time Machine again, that would only a small drop of self-referential-itis, a word I’ve just made up.

Instead, and with some degree of surprise, Steven Spielberg agreed to direct. Considering the film is steeped in 80s pop culture, this is sort of like hiring Pope Pius XII to make The Ten Commandments (1956)*. Too much self-referentialism—another word I apparently just made up—can be a bad thing. 

Thankfully, Spielberg is indisputably more of a master of the cinema than Cline is of the novel, so the movie flies above the source material. Wherein the book makes extensive references to WarGames (1983), the reality that Spielberg trying to do an extensive homage to John Badham fell by the wayside in favor of a scene borrowing from Kubrick’s The Shining (1980). Spielberg reaching for Kubrick makes a lot more sense.

Ultimately, Spielberg made the best version of this story possible. He’s made far better movies in recent year, most frequently when he eschews the pop sensibilities of his earlier career, and he’ll probably make better movies still. Ultimately? Give Lincoln (2012) or even The Post (2017) a look, and also give a look to all the other properties that prop this one up.

*Any person possessing a problem with that analogy should email complaints@partyapocalypse.com, an email address that—to date—does not exist.