US Marshals (1998)

Director: Stuart Baird

Cast: Tommy Lee Jones, Wesley Snipes, Robert Downey Jr., Joe Pantoliano

Have I Seen it Before: I strangely remember seeing this in the theater during its original run. It seemed like such a densely plotted Rube Goldberg machine that me and my buddy immediately decided we should have that kind of ambition and launched into an attempt to write the kind of movie where government agents pursue other government agents, and no one is ever entirely certain where true loyalties lie.

We lasted about half an hour.

Did I Like It: Not a great sign that a bunch of thirteen-year-olds see the movie and think that the kind of storytelling on display is within their own grasp. Gone is the tense believability of The Fugitive (1998) and in its place is an over-written mess. Gone is the eminently smart but still grounded Dr. Richard Kimble as played by Harrison Ford and in its place we have Wesley Snipes playing a Wesley Snipes character who—even if he had his reasons—did the murder in question. Gone even is the implacable modern day Javert of Jones’ Gerard, and in his place is a man on quest for revenge that could have been any other character in any other action movie. There’s a reason Gerard and his ragtag group of agents didn’t continue with a new adventure every couple of years.

I’m proud that I was able to go this whole review without damning director Stuart Baird—he of the ignominious Star Trek Nemesis (2002)—on spec, and generally finding beef with the idea that a skilled editor—which Baird clearly is—can be rewarded for bailing out a troubled film by getting the opportunity to direct a movie nobody could have possibly cared about.

Oops. There I go again.

But I suppose it could have all been worse. This could have been a more direct-sequel to The Fugitive and would have groaned through the better part of ninety minutes to put Harrison Ford back in prison clothes. We got off light.

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)

Director: Stuart Baird

Cast: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Tom Hardy

Have I Seen It Before?: Oh, yes. Funny story: In early December 2002, I had my wisdom teeth removed. I tried to get clear-headed enough from all of the pain medication so I could make it to a screening of this film during its opening weekend. As the film, sort of happened in front of me it felt all wrong, so much so that as the end credits limped into existence, I shouted in the middle of the theater, “What the hell was that?” Apparently I still had some cotton in my mouth, and more than a little painkillers in my system, and a little cotton in my motuh, so it sounded more like, “Wha tha hee iyat?” But the point remains.

Did I like it?: See the previous statement.

I love Star Trek, and 2000s/1990s when it seemed like there would never be a shortage of Trek material, it felt like there was plenty of room to thoroughly dislike the entries that didn’t hold up.

The film is not a celebration of a beloved TV franchise, but more the final strained compromise of years’ worth of studio politics. Stuart Baird only got the director seat because he did Paramount a solid by doing a last-minute editing jobs on Mission: Impossible II (2000) and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001). One might say that the great film editors shouldn’t direct Star Trek films after the muddled affair that was Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), but Robert Wise edited films like Citizen Kane (1941) and had previously directed The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) and West Side Story (1961). Stuart Baird got the movie Supernova (2000) into some form that could be released in theaters, after directing the distinctly unmemorable Executive Decision (1996) and U.S. Marshals (1998) and hasn’t been allowed to direct a film since.

There’s a temptation to make the review a list of complaints. They artificially lowered the dialogue for Worf (Michael Dorn) to where he is inexplicably the actor with the most screen time in all of Trek, and somehow unrecognizable. The films based on The Next Generation never successfully utilized Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden) and things are certainly no better here. The film desperately wants to be The Next Generation’s answer to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982), and the desperation shows.

And yet, since it ushered in an era of a Trek desert, I don’t want to think of the film as a total loss. It’s the last film to feature a score by Jerry Goldsmith, so one wants to revel in what we have left. The ending originally felt like a sour note to end the time with The Next Generation crew with a whimper, but thankfully Star Trek: Picard is here to continue the adventures of the man from La Barre, and it solidifies the sacrifice of Data as genuine far more than the deaths of other characters in the Trek series over the years.