Predator 2 (1990)

Director: Stephen Hopkins

Cast: Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Rubén Blades, María Conchita Alonso

Have I Seen It Before: Yeah, but with only the thinnest of memories. As we approach Predator: Badlands I feel that need to run through the series.

Did I Like It: And I’m not entirely sure why. All the films in the series are so pointedly different, only the faintest wisps of a canon is built from entry to entry. We’ll probably never get to this film on Beyond the Cabin in the Woods, but for listeners of the show I had to have Kenzi explain to me the rich tapestry of the Yautja that came to a head in Prey (2022), and how most of it happens in the background of this particular film.

And that would pretty much wrap up the “what’s good” section. A xenomorph skull is the kind of thing films are filled with these days, and apparently there’s more. The film certainly makes an attempt to be different than the original Predator (1990), and I can’t imagine spending any more time with Dutch (Schwarzenegger) would feel derivative in any franchise outside of those created by James Cameron*. The rifle at the end is the seed from which the mighty oak of Prey.

That’s about it.

The rest of the film is an action movie for action movie’s sake. Run, run, run. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Who are we running from? Who are we shooting towards? Why does it matter. These are not the kinds of things we can address in a 108 minute runtime, and you wouldn’t be particularly interested in the answers. This is made all the more aggravating when it becomes clear that this Predator film is only fitfully interested in being about the Predator. It’s a hodgepodge of warmed over ingredients from other franchise sequels of the era. I’ll bet all the money in my pocket that Bill Paxton was cast mainly to tap into the energy he brought to Aliens (1986), and nearly every second of this film is consumed with the same lack of amiability that weighed down RoboCop 2 (1990), released only a few months earlier.

*If you do ignore the Terminator films, Arnold really has a lot more restraint about sequels than I think we ever give him credit for.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

Director: Stephen Hopkins

Cast: Robert Englund, Lisa Wilcox, Kelly Jo Minter, Erika Anderson

Have I seen it Before: I’m not even sure that’s a valid question anymore. I oddly do have a strong memory of being in the video department of a grocery store* and being absolutely transfixed by a large cardboard ad for the movie, with Krueger (Englund, Dream Demons bless him for hanging around this long) admonishing those walking by to be quiet, as the baby in the bassinet from hell was sleeping. Also, I thing I read a submission by the screenwriter for an anthology I was working on years ago. For the life of me, I can’t remember if we bought the story or not.

Did I Like It: Clearly, I’ve watched A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988), and these two films so absurdly blurred together that if I were to ever break my rule and write a second review for a film I would probably still be just as uncertain that I’ve ever seen the film. For two films which were not

In that way, it’s oddly a little a bit like Star Trek: Generations (1994), or better yet Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989). Now, stay with me here, no matter how much you may not want to. At this point in time, the series was putting out a movie a year, and Freddy was appearing weakly as a host (and occasional character) of his own syndicated horror show. The franchise was clearly spread just a bit too thin. Freddy is over-exposed. Throw in a writer’s strike for full production chaos flavor, and voila, a franchise that vacillates between being over-produced and forgettable, yet strangely cheapened from its heyday.

*This was in those halcyon days when you could rent movie about five feet from the deli department of any grocery store. I’ll never know why they always put the video department right near the deli…