Basic Instinct (1992)

Director: Paul Verhoeven

Cast: Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, George Dzunda, Jeanne Tripplehorn

Have I Seen it Before: You know, never. I’m 7 when this thing comes out, and it always, even thiry-plus years later it feels somewhat scandalous to watch it. Even now, my wife comes into the room right in the middle of the interrrogation scene, asks me what I’m watching, and there’s a sustained seven seconds worth of “Uh…” before I remember I’m 41 and don’t have anything to hide.

Did I Like It: There’s so many obvious things one can say about the movie. Joe Esterhaus clearly has a lot of issues with women. Sexual politics have changed so much since the 1990s that the movie may only be suitable for anthropologists now. Just because Catherine Tramell (Stone, at perhaps her most Sharon Stone-y) doesn’t kill Curran (Douglas, at perhaps his most Michael Douglas-y) just then, doesn’t mean he’s he’s not going to fall asleep in twenty minutes and she’ll do it then.

There are even some moments of fun in the film. I saw that Rob Bottin was involved as the opening credits unfurled, and I couldn’t fathom what he would have to contribute to such a film, and then some poor schnook gets an ice pick through the soft parts of his face.

But what I really want to talk about is one of the deepest, most unrelenting laughs I’ve had while watching a movie in a long while. The noir-ish elements of the plot have to eventually come together, but did it have to come together as Douglas looks at two different pictures of Jeanne Tripplehorn, one of which is so spectacularly obvious in its attempt to photo-shop a blond wig onto her head? He even flips back and forth between the two, just so America of 1992 can clearly see what is going on, and 2026 America can’t help but keep laughing.

Total Recall (1990)

Director: Paul Verhoeven

Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone, Ronny Cox

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. But strangely, it feels like my first exposure to the film (and thus, the one that sticks with me the most) is the image of Arnold in a dress getting sucked out through a crack in the Mars colony, which was in every comic book published in 1990 as part of the print campaign (kids, ask your parents) for the NES video game.

Did I Like It: My more effusive reviews tend to answer that question with something that can be boiled down to “Yes, let me me tell you why.” Here, my answer will be something along the line of, “Yes. However...” And I assure you, only some of my reservation stem from the realization that I might have internalized parts of this for certain other projects. That it stealthily influenced me so is more of a mark in its favor, I think.

Yes, I do like this film. However, I’m thinking this is not the best work of anyone involved. Schwarzenegger plays slightly against type as an every man propelled into extraordinary circumstances. The ruse never quite works, as no one’s been able to convince me that the Austrian Oak is not directly descended from the Man of Bronze*. He’s probably the most fully realized version of the movie star that is Arnold in a movie like Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991). He even improved on the every-man/super-spy dichotomy more in True Lies (1994). 

Verhoeven has flashes of the satirical anarchist that made him one of the greats, but if you think you’re going to get me to forsake RoboCop (1987) in favor of this movie, you’ve got another thing coming.

I don’t think I’m out of line in saying there are other, more robust adaptations of Dick’s work. You’re going to say Blade Runner (1982), but you’re wrong. The correct answer is Minority Report (2002).

Even Jerry Goldsmith has had more memorable scores. Gremlins (1984), Star Trek: First Contact (1996), Rudy (1993). Hell, his score is one of the best parts of The Shadow (1994).

So the film is good, but I couldn’t help but want to watch their other, sharper work.

*Why didn’t this man ever play Doc Savage? It seems like one of the supreme missed opportunities in pop culture. He could still play an older Doc... Hell, I would watch the shit out of that movie. Never mind me. Feel free to return to the review proper.