Beverly Hills Cop II (1987)

Director: Tony Scott

Cast: Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Jürgen Prochnow, Ronny Cox

Have I Seen It Before: Maybe pieces of it? Probably not a great sign that I can’t honestly differentiate cable airings of either of the first two films from each other.

Did I Like It: That sameness can be somewhat of charming in a film series I  already love (I’m awkwardly looking in your direction, Back to the Future (1985)), but here going through the same beats and the same lines (I don’t know why I’m mainly thinking of Paul Reiser’s “This is not my… (blank)”, but I am) means that the whole affair is an exercise in everything that is bad about a sequel*.

In fact, there only seems to be two main difference between this and the first Beverly Hills Cop (1984). The only real difference seems to be is that you can see it in Murphy’s eyes. He’s not happy to be here like he was in the original. This feels like the beginning of a long slow descent for Murphy into frightfully unfunny family films. He only lights up when he meets Hugh Hefner, in a moment that seems to have been built solely to fuel a trailer. Murphy isn’t helped by Tony Scott, primarily not a comedy director, although he does do what Tony Scott does well enough.

If the film were smarter, and fresher, you’d think there would be plenty of room for Tony Scott to do his Tony Scott thing. But no, the Tony Scott-ness takes all the air out of the room and what we’re left with is a pretty okay action movie.

*I will admit I am saying all of this having as yet watched Beverly Hills Cop III (1994).

**I will admit I am saying all of this having as yet watched Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F (2024) (dumb title). Maybe he gets better?

Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

Director: Martin Brest

Cast: Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Ronny Cox

Have I Seen it Before: I mean, sure. A guy has cable growing up, he’d almost have to.

Did I Like It: A movie like this, so firmly established as one of the great action comedies can really only be analyzed through a series of questions.

How can a film that weirdly defaults to casual homophobia still be charming or even amusing several years later? I’m not sure I have a lot of answers for that one, or at least any satisfying ones. Eddie Murphy is charming, but funny foreign voices are sure carrying quite a bit of the weight here.

What happened to Eddie Murphy? Your mileage may vary, but this is about as good as Murphy gets on film. He’s funny, but it’s more than that. There’s a fierce intelligence to Axel Foley that makes every laugh stick harder than it might otherwise. He’s a hero for the cinematic ages, not unlike the wily nonconformists found in Bugs Bunny and Charlie Chaplin shorts.

But let’s get to the big question: What happened to Martin Brest? He made great movies (I have a vague but insistent desire to watch both Midnight Run (1988) and Scent of Woman (1992) right now. I’d even be up for taking in Meet Joe Black (1998), crazy bus crash and all, as long as I could run the trailer for Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) beforehand and have everyone leave before the movie starts. He makes one notable flop in Gigli (2003) and never gets to make a film again? What about Tim Burton? He hasn’t made a really interesting film in thirty years! What if we decided to return Steven Spielberg to the store after 1941 (1979)? Can anyone really account for the litany of do-overs we keep giving to J.J. Abrams.

Total Recall (1990)

Director: Paul Verhoeven

Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone, Ronny Cox

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. But strangely, it feels like my first exposure to the film (and thus, the one that sticks with me the most) is the image of Arnold in a dress getting sucked out through a crack in the Mars colony, which was in every comic book published in 1990 as part of the print campaign (kids, ask your parents) for the NES video game.

Did I Like It: My more effusive reviews tend to answer that question with something that can be boiled down to “Yes, let me me tell you why.” Here, my answer will be something along the line of, “Yes. However...” And I assure you, only some of my reservation stem from the realization that I might have internalized parts of this for certain other projects. That it stealthily influenced me so is more of a mark in its favor, I think.

Yes, I do like this film. However, I’m thinking this is not the best work of anyone involved. Schwarzenegger plays slightly against type as an every man propelled into extraordinary circumstances. The ruse never quite works, as no one’s been able to convince me that the Austrian Oak is not directly descended from the Man of Bronze*. He’s probably the most fully realized version of the movie star that is Arnold in a movie like Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991). He even improved on the every-man/super-spy dichotomy more in True Lies (1994). 

Verhoeven has flashes of the satirical anarchist that made him one of the greats, but if you think you’re going to get me to forsake RoboCop (1987) in favor of this movie, you’ve got another thing coming.

I don’t think I’m out of line in saying there are other, more robust adaptations of Dick’s work. You’re going to say Blade Runner (1982), but you’re wrong. The correct answer is Minority Report (2002).

Even Jerry Goldsmith has had more memorable scores. Gremlins (1984), Star Trek: First Contact (1996), Rudy (1993). Hell, his score is one of the best parts of The Shadow (1994).

So the film is good, but I couldn’t help but want to watch their other, sharper work.

*Why didn’t this man ever play Doc Savage? It seems like one of the supreme missed opportunities in pop culture. He could still play an older Doc... Hell, I would watch the shit out of that movie. Never mind me. Feel free to return to the review proper.

Robocop (1987)

Director: Paul Verhoeven

Cast: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith

Have I Seen It Before?: There’s something fascinating about the image of Robocop, as exemplified in the poster above. It enflamed the imagination of this reviewer as a child (and I’m willing to hazard a guess that I wasn’t the only one). Whenever it would air on network TV, it was appointment viewing. By the time I could procure R-rated films (and it is one of the R-iest R-rated films to come down the pike), it was one of the first I got my hands on.

Did I like it?: And it didn’t disappoint. In truth, the reality is that this film makes me angry. There’s a point about three-fourths through the film where I become pointedly depressed that in my own efforts, I’m never going to make anything as good as this. This film is so good that I have infinite patience for anything with the Robocop name on it, even when that patience is continuously tested by an endless series of lame attempts (that steadfastly avoid any understanding of what makes this film so special) to recapture the glory displayed here.

It is equal parts biting satire (that has become increasingly true), and pure Campbellian hero myth. It’s a silly title, but for my money, it’s a perfect movie.

And, yet… Now we live in an era where it is difficult to look at a cop in a film as a hero, much less a tragic one. It’s also an action movie from the 1980s; you can play any random thirty seconds and find a handful of problematic things. Take his prime directives, an attempt at a heroic code:

1.       Serve the Public Trust

2.       Protect the Innocent

3.       Uphold the Law

4.       (CLASSIFIED) Any attempt to arrest an officer of Omni Consumer Products results in shutdown.

The fourth directive is clearly the main fuel of stories involving the characters, but when you dig into it further, his very design is fascist. Everyone is theoretically innocent until proven guilty, but Robocop (Weller) has no problem eviscerating (and castrating) piles of crooks long before they’ve been able to see an attorney. With a logical flaw in his overriding programming, it’s a wonder Robo didn’t join the HAL 9000 in trying to obliterate every full-human being in sight just to make logical sense of the world.

There may be good cops, but the system is not interested in letting them stay good. That the slightest wisps of a human being encased in military hardware can still reach for their own humanity, maybe there is some hope. It is, after all, a fantasy.