The Phoenician Scheme (2025)

Director: Wes Anderson

Cast: Benicio del Toro, Mia Therapleton, Michael Cera, Riz Ahmed

Have I Seen It Before: Nope. Brand new.

Did I Like It: At it’s basic level, each new Wes Anderson film—at least after he conclusively proved his mettle with The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)—feels like it could be something new. Animation? Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009). An alien invasion story? Asteroid City (2023). A breezy journey through a highbrow magazine? The French Dispatch (2021). So, too, the thought of Anderson bringing his meticulous and distinctive visual style to an espionage story? It suddenly becomes appointment viewing for me.

And unfortunately, I may be of the mind that Anderson is stuck in particular themes and stories, no matter what genre with which a new film might have a tenuous relationship. The style is largely still there, although a few shots towards the end of the film embrace movement that isn’t a tracking shot. Every item—and especially every book—looks to be at least sixty years old (it helps here that the film is meant to take place in 1950). Right angles, quirky line readings, and plaid abound.

I’m not expecting Anderson to abandon everything he holds dear in favor of a new genre, but the themes are the same. A general storybook quality? Check. Awkward love story? Check. Some sort of redemption arc for a distant, larger than life father? Also, check.

I’m not necessarily mad or even disappointed that Anderson gave me exactly what I expected from the film. To the twee, indie film set, he’s as reliable as Michael Bay or McDonalds*. Can we not want more from a filmmaker who made his name initially making surprising choices? Does he not want more from the films he has yet to make?

*Yeah, I get it. That sounds like I’m mad and/or disappointed.

Venom (2018)

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, and Tom Hardy as himself.

Have I Seen it Before: Honestly? I thought I was going to get away with never seeing it, but here we are.

Did I Like It: There were long stretches where I might have been willing to go along with the proceedings, able to write it off as a well-meaning b-movie with some a-listers slumming it through the run time, but it’s not nearly bonkers enough to offset its thorough commitment to being mediocre. To put it succinctly? I’m not sure what the hell I was suspecting, but no.

I don’t like Venom. I think the whole idea is pretty stupid, and Sam Raimi’s work in Spider-Man 3 (2007) leads me to believe that I may not be alone in that assessment.

The thought that I might enjoy Venom, this new Spider-Manless version of the character seemed preposterous on spec. Upon watching any of the trailers, it nearly seemed like the the movie was being made less as an attempt to make an actual film, or because of love for the character, or even just to keep the rights from reverting to Marvel, and more that it was made as part of massive prank on behalf of Sony and Columbia Pictures.

I wrote recently about how Aquaman seemed intent on wrapping itself in an aesthetic that would be more at home in a film released in the 80s, this film seems just as manic in it’s desire to be a film discovered in a time capsule that was buried in 1997. Which is kind of like trying to pull off the same trick, but without any of the charm. Dodgy CGI, a base-guitar-heavy score, all culminating in an Eminem-penned track over the end credits that helpfully retreads the plot of the film I just saw. In fairness, I’m not sure what I was expecting from a movie based on the most 90s comic book character outside of Spawn or Withcblade, which I’m pretty sure is actually a thing.

Much has been made about Tom Hardy’s swing-for-the-fences-post-modern-Al-Pacino performance as both Eddie Brock and his best-good black goo. I’m frankly not seeing it. He spends the entire first act of the film reaching for that fabled arena of overacting wherein he appears to be performing in scenes from an entirely different film. This would be all well and good (or well and good enough) if the central conceit of the film isn’t completely reliant on Brock’s transition to the alien head-biter. With this lack of a transition, all we’re left with is a litany of CGI characters that aren’t all that impressive, and seeds for a sequel that I still don’t care about.

I’m having a Spider-Manassaince as of late, with the exquisite Playstation 4 game, the vibrant and beautiful Into the Spider-Verse, and the forthcoming Far From Home, but unfortunately, I don’t think Eddie Brock should come along. At least with the success of this film, the MCU version of the web-head is relatively inoculated from having to trudge his way through his own symbiote related storyline.