Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994)

Director: Peter Segal

Cast: Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, George Kennedy, O.J. Simpson

Have I Seen It Before?: I wrote in my review of The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear (1991) that the first two films in the series had largely conflated to the point where I was not sure I had seen either of the films all the way through at all. Here, I have no memory of the film that plays out and am reasonably sure I’ve never seen it at all.

Did I like it?: And I’m not necessarily sure that I was missing much.

Things open well enough with an extended homage to Battleship Potemkin (1925). Okay, it’s actually an extended reference to The Untouchables (1987), but I’m trying to give the film credit for at least aping a film that itself was aping high art. I also spent a few moments wondering how they managed to get a camera inside of a pinball machine for the ubiquitous police siren opening titles, but sometimes its best to let the magic of cinema wash over you.

From there, I’m witness to only a few moments of mirth. In fact, the biggest laugh the film got out of me was a throw-away gag where the words “Police Squad” were painted in different directions on a door window, so that only one words looked backwards. The non-sequiturs fly amusingly at the climax staged against the Academy Awards, but that’s slim pickings, if you ask me. Just a few lines from Anna Nicole Smith, and I’m immediately stuck by how much I underestimated Priscilla Presley’s competence as a film actress. It definitely doesn’t help that it is revealed at the end that her character has a penis, which inspires Drebin to become physical sick. With this film and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994), what the hell was with 1994? That doesn’t even begin to cover the O.J. Simpson of it all.

One can’t help but wonder if this film was the first step in the long slow decline that was the career of Leslie Nielsen. Oh well, we’ll always have Airplane (1980) and for that matter, Forbidden Planet (1956).

The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear (1991)

Director: David Zucker

Cast: Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, O.J. Simpson, Robert Goulet

Have I Seen It Before?: Yes?

Did I like it?: And the answer to that last question is part of the problem, I think.

I have no memories of sitting down to watch the sequel to The Naked Gun: From The Files of Police Squad! (1988) from beginning to end, but there are elements of it I do remember. I remember the litany of physical abuse delivered upon First Lady Barbara Bush (Margery Ross). I remember Zsa Zsa Gabor having an altercation with the police lights during the opening credits. For the most part, I remember Goulet, who is competent in a thankless role, but has no hope of challenging Ricardo Montalbán for arch movie villainy perfected.

And that would certainly damn the movie with faint praise. The bits in this series are interchangeable so much so that I’m completely uncertain as to whether or not I have ever seen Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994). Those gags that did manage to cut through were the muted political material. The jokes at the expense not only of Bush and early 90s Republicans, but still smarting from the rout suffered by Michael Dukakis in 1988. I chuckled at them from the perspective of my own status as a political junky, but even by 91’ it seemed like ancient history. Those jokes age all the worse when one thinks about the deep dive into the other side of the aisle director David Zucker took scarcely ten years later with GOP hackwork and dreck like An American Carol (2008).

And then there’s OJ. Not a single second of his screen time could ever play the way it was intended. It’s odd that ever moment he’s in both of these movies, he’s being injured, as if in some other life he committed some kind of great transgression against humanity.

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

Director: David Zucker

Cast: Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, Ricardo Montalbán, George Kennedy

Have I Seen it Before: Sure. 

Did I Like It: Is it the last great entry in the now long-since past its prime film parody genre? Here, the gags hit more than they miss. Nielsen continues to live his best life by embracing the oblivious straight man to unrestrained laziness he would continue to play for the rest of his days. The sequels were varying degrees of acceptable, but after this came a litany of entries in the “BLANK Movie” series content to merely reference the topics their lampooning, while at the same time forgetting to actually be funny in their own right. Those movies then went on to begat the execrable Cinema Sins and Honest Trailers Youtube videos. I’ve been to the future, and those videos will eventually lead to the highly advanced, but ultimately misanthropic supercomputers eventually responsible for the unravelling of all human society.

It’s likely unfair to judge a movie for the unintentional crimes it later inflicted on humanity, which is a perfect time to touch on the topic of this, O.J. Simpson’s most famous cinematic role. He’s likable enough and not asked to do much in the comedic arena other than mug for the camera and get shot and maimed. He’s amiable enough and game enough to not get in the movie’s way, although a plot (such as a movie like this could even have a plot) that hinges around proving O.J. Simpson’s innocence aged terribly within just a few years of the original release.

And yet, there is one element of the film that will forever be the right choice. Human society could collapse in on itself, and making Ricardo Montalbán your villain will always, always be the right choice.

Also, there’s only like two absurd credit items during the final crawl. I’m not sure whether to label it a missed opportunity that other movies would capitalize on, or a towering monument to restraint in a movie otherwise disinterested in anything resembling discipline.