Night of the Living Dead (1990)

Director: Tom Savini

Cast: Tony Todd, Patricia Tallman, Tom Towles, McKee Anderson

Have I Seen it Before: Never. What with my well-known apathy towards the zed-word, it’s entirely possible I wasn’t even aware a remake of the original Night of the Living Dead (1968) existed, until it was put on the schedule of season-premiere for Beyond the Cabin in the Woods.

Did I Like It: While I felt like the last act of the film descended into the kind of zombie-sameness that works better than a horse tranquilizer* that keeps me from being a complete convert, the first half works far more effectively. Savini wastes no time just starting the action apace. This no-nonsense approach to the genre very nearly lulls me into a false sense of security that this will be a breathless chase against the forces of Judgment Day. If things had kept up with this pace, the characters might not have had any time to slow things down and slowly realize that the non-dead are just as much monsters as the undead.

But it was not meant to be. Had things stayed with just Todd and Tallman, we could have had an almost perfect minimalist entry in the genre. But there just had to be more people in the cellar…

And a group of rednecks who are just itching to domesticate the ghouls.

And a news broadcast that tells us about the unravelling of human society that can only be ebbed by destroying the reanimated’s brain.

And a beloved character who is turned before the end credits, followed immediately thereafter by another beloved character who is prepared to re-enter the world, unbitten but no less dehumanized.

*It’s probably unfair to judge it too harshly for these sins. The Walking Dead may have completely killed in me the thing that allows people to like depictions of zombies, but Walking Dead was just aping Romero’s work in beating that undead horse.

Babylon 5: Thirdspace (1998)

Director: Jesús Salvador Trevino

Cast: Bruce Boxleitner, Claudia Christian, Jeff Conaway, Patricia Tallman

Have I Seen it Before: Yes. My memory of it is that it was my least favorite of the four TV movies aired by TNT during the last year of the television series.

Did I Like It: Ultimately, I do think that my memory of not thinking much of it holds up under the scrutiny of time and experience.

The TV budget—and the Babylon 5 special effects, which have clearly not aged well—can’t sell the horror. The artifact which tries its damndest to bring a touch of the Lovecraftian to The Last Best Hope For Peace looks more intricate and lovingly created than the swirling CGI sprites that normally passed for the ships and creatures on this show, but I can’t move on from the feeling that it looks like a cut scene from a video game, and not a cut scene from a modern video game, mind you. One from the 1990s. How did we ever think this show was ahead of its time, special effects-wise? The mind boggles.

The story is this weird blip, this huge epic moment that takes place in the middle of the most epic season of the show’s larger storyline. There is no lead-up to it within the context of the show, and it is never mentioned again. It’s especially strange, when one considers that Sheridan (Boxleitner) is dealing with Interplanetary Expeditions (IPX), the organization his wife worked for, and there’s only a perfunctory reference to that fact. It should weigh on him heavily, especially because that history caused him to die and come back from the dead less than a year ago. Wouldn’t that have more of an effect on him?Ultimately, it feels like an episode from the show’s first season, before ti had found its purpose or stride as a novel told over several years.