Friday the 13th - Part VIII: Jason Take Manhattan (1989)

Director: Rob Hedden

Cast: Jensen Daggett, Scott Reeves, Barbara Bingham, Kane Hodder

Have I Seen It Before: Never. For some reason, I felt like I had to subject myself to the rest of the films in the series before I could finally fulfill the ambitions of a five-year-old.

I remember the ad campaign for the film in that heady age of the summer of 1989, helped considerably by the fact that I captured—while recording Batman (1966) on VHS—the 30 second spot that opened with “New York, New York”* before becoming about Jason Voorhees (Hodder, returning from the last film). That thing so captured my imagination as the kind of scary movie that true grown ups, sophisticates that they are, go to the cinema to experience.

Did I Like It: I’m a man now. I guess. I’ve seen it.

This film is reviled by the fanbase of the series. Never mind that there is a fanbase for this series, and they almost certainly have to be populated by the kind of people you never hope to encounter down a dark alleyway. I submit this question to you: Aside from possibly being in search for a more accurate title, is the film really any worse than the rest of the series? I’m serious, I think most complaints would vanish in vapor if the film was called Friday the 13th - Part VIII: Jason Goes On A Cruise, After Which He Spends An Abbreviated Third Act, Mostly In Times Square, Which Nobody Really Counts As Manhattan Anyway, Oh. Yeah. Also, Jason Melts In The Daily Midnight Flood Of Toxic Waste That Flows Under Times Square In The Days Before Giuliani.

But that would lack poetry, wouldn’t it?

*At least, I think it had that. It very well could have been “Rhapsody in Blue”, but it feels like that would be just a hair to esoteric for the audience who might be into seeing an eighth film in this series. Memory is a funny thing, isn’t it?

Friday the 13th - Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Director: John Carl Buechler

Cast: Lar Park Lincoln, Kevin Blair, Susan Blu, Kane Hodder

Have I Seen It Before: Maybe? I’m honestly so tired of answering this (self-inflicted) question for this film series.

Did I Like It: Has anyone ever made an improvised slasher movie? I’m not talking about something like Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)* that brings comedy to the genre, I’m talking about forgoing the idea of putting together a script, and just planning on hitting a loose list of beats. It’d be easier on everybody. This was purportedly written by two writers, but what could it possibly matter? Do you remember what happened in Friday the 13th - Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)? Does it have anything to do with the waif of a telekinetic (Lincoln) who might be finally able to put Jason Voorhees (Hodder) in his final grave**? I don’t known, and this film isn’t giving me any inspiration to go as far as to look back on my review to see if there is some connective tissue. One wonders if those writers watched the last film, either. If they did, this is less a film and more the lashing out of the abused.

Before we conclude that I have nothing positive to say about the film, this is the first film to feature Kane Hodder in the role which made him moderately famous, and with which Jason is most commonly associated in fandom. He’s good. He brings a bewildered physicality to the role which against all odds moved the man with the hockey mask beyond the category of the cheapest of Michael Myers substitutes to… a moderately cheap substitute of Michael Meyers.

That ain’t nothing.

*God bless the predilection of horror movies to over-stuff their titles. They’re saving me from having to pontificate on this film for too long before hitting my word count.

**She won’t be able to, in case you were wondering. The series at this point is still cheap enough that Paramount could only stop making them if they lost interest in making money. Which apparently they did in the 90s and aren’t likely to get over it any time soon.