Jurassic World Rebirth (2025)

Director: Gareth Edwards

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend

Have I Seen it Before: Nope. Missed it in the theater.

Had a sense that there was probably a reason for that.

Did I Like It: Sometimes a movie will be helpful and give you its whole mission statement in the first line of spoken dialogue. It can be as simple as “Anything Goes” — Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984), or as profound as “What came first, the music or the misery?” High Fidelity (2000). It can be in the high-class, as in bringing us into the mystery by whispering “Rosebud” Citizen Kane (1941), or as mass-market entertainment as when Lor San Tekka (Max von Sydow) opens Star Wars - Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) with “This will begin to make things right.” It doesn’t even have to accomplish the goal set forth, they’re just calling the shot before it’s taken.

So it’s telling that the first line of this, the seventh entry in the Jurassic series, that a wear worker of inGen mutters to one of their hapless colleagues, “How many more times are we going to have to do this?”

That’ll pretty much tell you everything you need to know about the film. It feels not only perfunctory, it seems disinterested in even going through the motions for the sake of everyone else. It may be a tall order to get the movie-going audience excited about dinosaurs walking the earth, but depicting a world that is as bored of this series as we are isn’t the way to accomplish that lofty goal. It may sufficiently divorce itself from what preceded—there is one references to Alan Grant, blissfully no references to whoever Chris Pratt’s character was, and only one scene with raptors—but the movie not only can’t justify its own existence, it refuses to even reckon with the issue.

We really don’t need another Jurassic movie, and now that Amblin has finally scraped the final elements of Michael Crichton’s original novel to adapt (rafting, anyone?) maybe we can all move on.

But then, it made plenty of money in an age where other seemingly sure bets can’t find the fairway. This may be the Jurassic World that we’re actually looking at.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Director: Colin Trevorrow

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Neill, Laura Dern

Have I Seen it Before: Nope, although after those reviews opening weekend, my speed in wanting to watch diminished more than a bit.

Did I Like It: I’m glad that the movie has bad reviews, because it allowed me to go in with the lowest possible expectations. Is this the worst of all possible Jurassic movies? Almost certainly. Did I have something approaching a good time with it? Also, yes.

Many will complain (and fairly so) that the movie is only barely about dinosaurs, instead cooking up an often convoluted plot surrounding corporate intrigue, the vagaries of genetic research, and locusts. A bill of false goods, possibly, but anyone who has read the original Crichton novel would recognize some ideas brought to their perhaps incredulous conclusion. As I read that preceding paragraph, I’m not entirely sure I’m happy about this direction or not. I’ll only commit to the view that I don’t reflexively hate it as much as others might.

Any film that would give me this much Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) is at least something of a winner. I’m looking in your direction, <Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2019>. The other legacy characters are a welcome treat, but I’m inevitably thinking about a far better film each and every time Neill and Dern share the frame. A film that would have been wall-to-wall these characters might have still been a letdown from previous entries in the series, but the film is at its most alive in those moments.

And that quality is in stark contrast to the lukewarm continuation of Pratt and Howard’s characters that make up the other half of the film. Most of Fallen Kingdom fell out of my head by the time I hit the parking lot, so offering us continuation of those themes never seemed like more than a drag. I honestly can’t remember the Pratt character’s name even now. I want to say Skip Burtman? Something tells me we won’t have to endure a legacy-legacy sequel in thirty years where Pratt and Howard sort out their issues and find golden year happiness.

But do you want to know what really irritates me about the movie? Locusts? I’m fine? Raptor trainer Biff Motorcyclovitz tries my patience on the way to becoming a better adoptive father? I can imagine there might be a fan of Fallen Kingdom who exists and would feel cheated without a third act to that story.

No, I can’t stand the beginning and ending of this movie. In recent years, there has been a trend of “The Ending of (insert movie here) explained” videos on YouTube where some smarmy jag with a Blue microphone* goes over the ending of every big movie and explains it to you, just in case you were unable to wrap your head around the intricacies of a movie geared toward ten-year-olds. They are deeply an unrelentingly irritating. The good news is that there is no need for such a video where Dominion is concerned. Trevorrow and company have included it right in the runtime! A movie is usually in trouble when it has to have a voice over to open and close things (you’ll notice <Jurassic Park (1993)> didn’t need one) but we have no entered the age when we apparently need a Youtube video to tuck is in before and after a movie.

We really don’t.

*As a smarmy jag with a few Blue microphones myself, I feel justified in that assessment.

Jurassic Park III (2001)

Director: Joe Johnston

Cast: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Alessandro Nivola

Have I Seen it Before: I saw it in the theater… I think I’m still waiting for the final reel of the film to be delivered.

Did I Like It: Which brings us to the big question. Jurassic Park (1993) is the most Spielbergy of all the Spielbergian films. The Lost World (1997) was a pleasing enough diversion in which all of the key players felt like they were asleep at the wheel. The later movies (Jurassic World (2015) and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)) are engaging enough legacy sequels made by a creative team who clearly has an abiding affection for the source material. 

This film, however, sticks out like a sore thumb, or a thumb chewed off by a compy, or whatever dinosaur metaphor strikes your fancy. I like director Joe Johnston; The Rocketeer (1991) is one of my favorite movies. He’s been handed table scraps, here, though. The movie looks cheaper, with the CGI not aging as well as it does in the original movie (The Lost World had the same problem, but both films are saved from the absolute dregs of a Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)) and story being thin enough to drive an SUV through.

By all indications, that story underwent a lot of last-minute changes. The script as written was thrown out right before production in favor a much simpler search and rescue storyline. Problem is, so many of the set pieces had already been storyboarded within an inch of their life. Thus the movie ends up trying to be two different movies, neither of which have anything resembling the spontaneity of anything resembling the human experience. One might think I’m being unfair thinking that a movie about dinosaurs meant to goose the numbers on action figure sales needs to feel authentically human, but when I can’t get over the fact that it is spectacularly divorced from the people making it, it bears mentioning.

This doesn’t even cover the fact that the movie doesn’t so much end as simply stops, with our heroes reaching the shoreline and the Marines and Navy are ready with Operation Deus Ex Machina. I liked spending some time with Dr. Grant again, but this isn’t the movie anyone would have hoped for.

Jurassic World (2015)

Director: Colin Trevorrow

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D’Onofrio, BD Wong

Have I Seen It Before?: Oh, sure.

Did I like it?: If a movie isn’t a Marvel movie, chances are it is a legacy sequel. Some have been delightful, like Halloween (2018). Some groan through the bloated run time and are instantly forgotten as soon as the lights in the theater come up, like Tron: Legacy (2010) or, for a far more apt comparison here, Independence Day: Resurgence (2016). 

Why does this one work so well? One might be tempted to say that it doesn’t try to groan its way through including an aging cast member in the proceedings, and lets us learn to like the new characters that are the vehicle of the plot, but movies like Star Trek (2009) and the aforementioned Halloween’s best moments are with Leonard Nimoy and Jamie Lee Curtis. Even so, this film has a reprisal from BD Wong as geneticist Dr. Henry Wu, but it’s not exactly like that was a special moment in the trailer or a focal point in the poster.

Maybe Jurassic World’s secret weapon lies in a mostly successful attempt to capture the spirit of the original film and not just pepper the film with references to the original and jam it into some kind of framework that would be more palatable for a modern audience. The references are there—an extended sequence in the ruins of the original park from Jurassic Park (1993) and a few brief glances at a book written by Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum)—but they aren’t the main thrust of the plot. I’m looking in your direction, Luke/Anakin’s lightsaber. The movie tries its best to capture that Amblin spirit, complete with a sensitive, mop-topped young boy dealing with the fantastic things around him while the family situation may be unravelling a bit.

It doesn’t hurt that the true focal point of the film is one of the more charming movie stars to become a leading man in recent memory, Chris Pratt. He manages to sell the notion of trainable Raptor soldiers, and that isn’t exactly something that any other actor could make watchable. Sure, the special effects have already aged a bit even in the five years since its release, where the first thing remarkably holds up after thirty years, but it is imminently digestible entertainment, and that is all that it aimed for.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Director: Steven Spielberg

Cast: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough

Have I Seen It Before?: I mean, I’m a child of the 90s and I like movies. How would I have gotten through my life without this movie?

Did I like it?: It’s only gotten better over the years.

I came to a revelation during my recent review for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008). With this film, Spielberg exorcised most of the populist impulses that had made his career. Sure, you have this film’s sequel, The Lost World (1997), and the aforementioned fourth Indiana Jones film, but those both seemed like chores Spielberg relented to, rather than films he was that interested in making. Double that sentiment for Ready Player One (2018). Perhaps he was indulging a return to form with the animated The BFG (2016), but I’ll let you know when I get around to seeing it.

But what a valedictory run this is. Every element works and became the standard for blockbuster movies to the present. The special effects have mostly not aged in over 25 years. I say that, but what I mean is that the physical effects (mostly by Stan Winston) still look like real things, which will keep this film working decades from now. The leading-edge computer images fare a little less well. Large tableaus of dinosaurs interacting with (read: eating) each other work pretty well, but any time ILM uses their tools to venture into the undiscovered country of the close-up, or if their sprites and polygons deign to interact with humans, the seams begin to show. It’s hard to be too critical of either Spielberg or the movie for this, as they were trying things that had never been tried before. However, with the knowledge that George Lucas saw this film and decided his own technology had finally elevated to the point where he could go back and make his long-gestating Star Wars prequels, well… the judgment of movie history might have

My wife points to this as John Williams best score, and I’m at a loss to argue the point. I’m also at a loss to come up with a theme that Williams has written since that was as memorable as the march he concocted with this movie. Everybody behind the scenes was going for broke here, it seems.

And yet the thing I am most tickled by during this, quite possibly my 100th viewing of the film—are the non-tech questions. The movie may be peak-Jeff Goldblum, and even when his character, Ian Malcolm, is vacillating quickly between smarm and snark, one can’t help but be amused by him. The movie might have worked had it just been him, and if Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) had gone for that, it might have been a lot more satisfying.