Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Director: Joss Whedon

Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth

Have I Seen it Before: I’m having a hard time remembering the last time I wasn’t in a theater during the first weekend in May watching some kind of Marvel movie. I’m relatively sure it was 2001. Kids, ask your parents.

Did I like it: This has generally been considered one of the entries in the series that worked the least, and I can’t say I disagreed with that assessment at the time of release.

But here, with the Infinity Saga now complete, I wanted to believe that it had a Back to the Future Part II (1989) vibe, and would feel more satisfying when the setups that this film is filled with are more completely paid off.

And in some cases, it does work better. The vision Stark (Downey Jr.) has of the Chitauri’s return has much more resonance now that we have all seen the Endgame and where Stark would wind up.

In other cases, the movie isn’t working all that great. Thor’s sojourn into the cave doesn’t even really feel like a good set up for the beautiful confection that is Thor Ragnarok (2017), and most of the other characters visions at the hands of Scarlett Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) don’t quite hit like one might hope. While the aforementioned Scarlett Witch and Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) are interesting and watchable new characters, their introduction into the world will make a fuller exploration of the X-Men in this universe (now that Disney/Marvel has acquired 20th Century Fox and by extension, the entire Xavier brand) when that time comes.

Even the stuff that isn’t necessarily meant to set up other films fails to function completely. Nearly everything involving the Hulk (Ruffalo) and Black Widow (Johansson) never fails to connect. It’s a shame, as both actors have proved to be MVPs in other Marvel films. The less said about the sun down thing, the better. Future films were wise to drop those elements as quickly as they could.

But there are things that work by their own rights. James Spader as Robo-Alan Shore is a delight, and he deserves more credit. Vision (Paul Bettany) is a bizarre creation that gets better and better with every film in which he appears. Stark and Banner’s initial efforts to create Ultron (Spader) bring to mind the more thrilling creativity that Stark exhibited in the first Iron Man (2008). The party scene is low-key delightful. Robert Downey Jr., Robert Downey Jr., and finally Robert Downey Jr.

Ultimately, though, it is still a case of a film not quite successfully reaching for the ambitions it sets out for itself. It’s not an awful thing, but it can 

The Avengers (2012)

Director: Joss Whedon

Cast: Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo

Have I Seen it Before: I was there opening weekend. It kind of feels like we were all required to show up for it.

Did I Like It: I also think we all tended to like it.

We now know The Avengers films are meant to be the biggest of big tenpole movies. The idea of the four-quadrant picture was created in hopes of movies like this. It’s not the place for an iconoclastic filmmaker to play with what it means to be a blockbuster. It’s more like the season finale of an extremely successful TV show. It takes a workmanlike temperament, and if you can get a large cast of main and supporting characters to mesh well together and each have their moments in the sun. 

Enter Joss Whedon.

He’s a good TV writer. It’s in his blood. He has ushered in rightful classics like Buffy, and done such memorable work on short-lived shows like Firefly, that they are somehow still remembered long after their untimely death.

But this film—only his second feature as a director after Serenity (2005)—is a big budgeted TV episode. It’s shot like one, with everything functionally but artlessly lit. Visually, it may very well be the least engaging of all the Marvel films. That can be a tough competition.

And yet the film works because all of Whedon’s skills are brought to bear. Iron Man (Downey, how could anyone else play the role) has shaken off any first sequel jitters and is back in fine form. Thor (Hemsworth) and Loki (Tom Hiddleston) do their Thor and Loki thing. Hulk/Bruce Banner (Ruffalo) finally finds the right alchemy for the role and manages to be the most entertaining part of film, a feat Hulk has not measured up to until now. Even Captain America (Evans) manages to find a few wholesome quips that keep him Cap, and not some pale shadow of the funnier characters around him.

That these characters work together at all is a pleasing, giddy surprise, but it ultimately isn’t a memorable film in its own right. That’s okay. That wasn’t Whedon’s job. Thankfully, we could—at the time this film was released—still look forward to a slate of much more interesting, stranger films featuring all of these characters.

Justice League (2017)

Director: Zack Snyder credited, Joss Whedon with the assist

Cast: Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, Ciarán Hinds, Henry Cavill

Have I Seen it Before: The better question is whether I’m ever going to feel compelled to watch it again.

Did I Like It: It’s… not the worst. As long as we live in a world with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) or Batman & Robin (1997), we can live secure in that knowledge.

The text of this review appeared previously in a blog post entitled “Okay, Warner Bros. Time for us to have another one of those little chats.” published on 12/03/2017.

Hey, Warner Bros. It’s been a long time. No, I still don’t think the name “Martha” is a sufficient plot development around which to build an entire screenplay, but I don’t want to talk about that. We’re friends; we’ve been friends for a long time. Let’s talk about something else.

So Justice League is a thing. You went waaaaay simpler on the title. That’s good. 

You picked up Joss Whedon for some relief pitching. Tragic why it came to that point, but I think you hired the right guy to finish the job. 

Wonder Woman (the film) and Wonder Woman (the character) are legit, and you doubled down on that. Good; very good. 

Danny Elfman’s doing the score? Is he going to bring back his theme from Batman (1989)? He is? Well, you’ve got a hit on your hands if I’ve ever heard of one.

What’s that? Why wouldn’t you use the Flash you have set up on television? He’s even super dimension-hoppy… Fine, whatever. Flashpoint will sort this all out.

Who’s the villain? Steppenwolf? Like “Born to be Wild”/“Magic Carpet Ride” Steppenwolf? No, he’s a… with horns, you say…? Oh, a helmet. Like the dude at the beginning of Thor: Ragnarok? No, not like that… Why not use Darkseid? You’re wanting to tease that out. :sigh: That’s fine, we can’t blame you for aping a format that certainly has worked for the other guys. Actually, I can blame you for that, but we’ll get to that later.

Wait… What’s that about Henry Cavill’s mustache?

An actual frame from the movie.

The same frame, unaltered. Don’t look it up. Just trust me.

Oh, Warner Bros, you sweet, innocent, beautiful summer child. What have we learned?

All Newhart-esque riffs aside, Zack Snyder’s third film with Superman as a character* is out now, and is fine. While it certainly doesn’t have any of the bewilderingly bad choices that Martha v Martha: Dawn of Martha had**, it still isn’t nearly as thrilling as Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman, but plays it far safer than the interesting-in-concept, but uneven Man of Steel (2013). Is it a step in the right direction for the floundering DCEU? No. It actually moves the proceedings back to the gestalt of Mommy v Mommy: Mommy of Mommy; as it turns out, Wonder Woman was the step in the right direction. That right direction, as it turns out, would be to make a bunch (and not just one) really watchable movie, then try to bring those disparate elements into a huge crowd pleaser. If only there was somebody out there that had already done this. That would be marvelous.

And that’s where I come in with some thoughts about the future of the DCEU, especially in light of League’s anemic box office. The internet has already buzzed about the possibility, and several news items have indicated that Warner Bros. may be thinking in this direction, but it may be time to abandon the Marvel business model. DC might have had a chance at being the second person to the party, but too many missed opportunities, murky creative strategies, and well, let’s face it, Marthas mean that DC may never truly get it together. The massive superhero movie continuity may not be possible to replicate. Heck, any massive movie continuity is not likely to have the benefit of a Robert Downey Jr. opening salvo, and thus, falter. Just ask the poor, maligned Universal monsters, who—despite their proud tradition of creating the idea of a cinematic shared universe before 1950—have had to endure now two false starts in twice as many years at uniting their stable of characters.

So don’t try, DC. Be weird. Don’t worry about setting up the next movie. In fact, it might be better if you’re no 100% sure what the next movie will even be. That Scorcese-produced Joker movie? I’d rather you didn’t go back to that well, but as long as Jared Leto stays home, I’m in. Flashpoint could cleanse the palette, give Affleck a dignified*** exit, allow Gal Gadot to keep making Wonder Woman movies in perpetuity, and restore Henry Cavill’s upper lip to its once-humanoid glory…

But what do I really want you to do DC? What is the only Christmas wish this boy has on his list?

You know what I’m about to say.

Last year, I wrote <here on the blog> about how I would have preferred DC handle its shared universe. It didn’t involve Affleck, and it didn’t really involve Batman, per se. You didn’t take that course here, but if you are truly giving up the ghost on being Marvel-lite, can I ask for one movie to be included in your increasingly Elseworlds-esque slate…

Batman Beyond… with Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne. You can even bring back Danny Elfman to do the score.

Get that done, Warner Bros., and everything will be forgiven. Including any and all Marthas that may come up between now and then.

*Spoiler alert? Can something be a spoiler alert if the bit of info is built out of pure inevitability? These are the questions I ponder at night when sleep eludes me.

**Although it still did manage to include an irritating tag scene with profoundly miscast Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor.

***He wants a “cool” way out of the role, and presumably never have to talk about it again, but I think the “best Batman to never be in a good Batman movie” can be erased from existence via the Cosmic treadmill, right? 

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Director: Drew Goddard

Cast: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz

Have I Seen it Before: Sure.

Did I Like It: What’s not to like?

I know this assessment could potentially get me in trouble with some circles, but here it goes: Drew Goddard’s Cabin in the Woods is not a horror movie. Now with revered films like Get Out (2017), Silence of the Lambs (1991), and Psycho (1960), the “not horror” pronouncement is meant to de-ghettoize the film and give more high-brow audiences permission to like the movie. Here, it’s just true. Cabin… is a high-concept comedy draping itself with horror trappings. 

Unlike other potential candidates for “comedy in horror’s clothing (Scream (1996), Shaun of the Dead (2004), this film drops all pretense at being a true horror film by the time its final act kicks into high gear. In fact, by the film’s climax, it is so jam-packed with references to other films and stories, that it is impossible to be frightened or startled or left uneasy by the film. We’re too much in on the joke by that point.

That is not to level an undue level of criticism against the film, either. The joke is sublimely crafted, but anyone who still insists that it is a horror film at that point is attaching themselves to the trappings of the other section of the films past the point where the film has any interest in it.

And let’s get serious. Six years later, there have not been any grotesquely lame sequels? Or, for that matter, any sequels of any kind? That’s not horror. Prove me wrong.