Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Director: Roland Emmerich

Cast: Liam Hemsworth, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Maika Monroe

Have I Seen it Before: Yeah. I’m not sure why I felt compelled to see this when it came out back in ’16, especially when one considers how it took me about a year to get more than a little sick of Independence Day (1996). Maybe it was one of those years where I just felt compelled to see everything.

Did I Like It: Relax, the film easily passes the criteria for sequels: it is just as good as the original, or at least pretty cool. If you think otherwise, I submit that you might be remembering Independence Day through the lens of someone who was a child in the 1990s and thus, far easier to impress. It’s just as much of mindless special effects sizzle reel as the original.

There are fewer memorable special effects shots as the original. Nothing quite matches that shot of one of the alien saucers obliterating the White House, but I think that means the trailer for the original film is better than the trailer for this film. That much I’ll grant you. Also, I’ll admit that where the first film at least had the sort of heartwarming thought that the only thing that will unite humanity is the knowledge that there is something else out there for us to hate. Here we have… :checks notes: the realization that the aliens have a queen who is far larger than any of the others. Where have I seen that before?

The film’s ambitions are minimal, but I can’t say that I can completely dismiss any big tentpole film that fundamentally has little to offer when it offers me this much of Jeff Goldblum being as much Jeff Goldblum as he can be. It got me through Jurassic World Dominion (2022) and it made this a relatively easy way to spend a couple of hours, too.

Everybody might want to complain about the absnece of Will Smith, but it honestly didn’t even occur to me. I don’t think he would have improved anything.

The Big Chill (1983)

Director: Lawrence Kasdan

Cast: Tom Berenger, Glenn Close, Jeff Goldblum, William Hurt

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. A part of me has always had a vague ambition to write something like this that is divorced from genre and is just people existing.

Did I Like It: And yet another part of me has resolutely refused to do anything of the sort*. The dialogue on display here is almost uniformly great, the performances are pitch perfect (Kline and Goldblum especially are naturally living in their eventual screen personas during their nearly first at bat), and the soundtrack is so perfect that it’s hard to think of “Joy to the World” or “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”** without thinking about the film.

But, and I say this with absolute sincerity and honesty: I don’t get it.

Maybe it’s a generational thing. Facebook oozed into existence while I was still in college, so the idea of losing touch with the people in your life at that moment is as technologically quaint as the VHS camera treated like the Monolith throughout the film. I can see the need to show up for a funeral, but the motivation behind staying for an entire weekend with people, as Nick (Hurt) correctly points out, “a long time ago knew each other for a short period of time” absolutely mystifies me. This, even more so when I realize I am not older than the characters at the time the story takes place.

This doesn’t even begin to cover the problem solving and attempts at emotional maturity here. Apparently allowing Harold (Kline) to impregnate Meg (Mary Kay Place) resolves all of the other infidelity? Everyone’s fine now? What about when Meg has a kid and they have to explain to Harold and Sarah’s (Close) current children that they’ve had a younger sibling this entire time, and that the origin of how their father came to father another child out of wedlock will only invite more questions than answers.

Maybe its just a generational thing. Boomers, man. I just don’t know.

*I’m not going to give up the ghost on doing a story about college friends reuniting years-plus later, only to find that Kevin Kline is deeply deranged and wants to wear them all as coats as soon as possible.

**Which somehow isn’t included in the soundtrack album, which is either a sign that the label was legendarily dumb, the Rolling Stones are infinitely greedy, or some mixture of both.

The Fly (1986)

Director: David Cronenberg

Cast: Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis, John Getz, Joy Boushel

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. It even became the basis for an occasionally returned to rule on <Beyond the Cabin in the Woods>. Essentially: Toxic masculinity aside, when your penis falls off, you need to go to the doctor.

Somehow, I haven’t returned to the film since starting with Cabin and these reviews.

Did I Like It: Even though I’ve seen it probably a dozen times over the years, I’m struck by how much it works as a thriller. The lead up to the unfortunate fate of the baboon (and the relatively benign fate of his brother), Brundle’s (Goldblum) prowling for someone else to share of teleporting, his progressive unravelling right up until the point that he fused with his infernal machine. Each of those moments put me on the edge of my seat, as if I was watching the movie for the first time. I’ve seen other horror movies multiple times—Bride of Frankenstein (1935) and Halloween (1978) immediately come to mind—but none of them hit me with that same instinctive feeling of terror as this does.

Even if the film’s pulse-pounding effects somehow dulled over the years, there would be more than enough of a great film to enjoy. I’m torn on whether or not this was the role Goldblum was born to play, or if he so thoroughly understood the task in front of him, but every stutter and twitch makes an audience believe that the border between man and fly is thinner than any of us might want to admit, and that’s before any special effect comes into place. And this entire review has managed to avoid talking about those very special effects. The makeup revolts and feels real, and it is supremely difficult for any horror movie to embrace puppetry and not feel silly, but when those last vestiges of humanity disappear, ti still feels as if there is something of Goldblum in there somewhere.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

Director: W. D. Richter

Cast: Peter Weller, John Lithgow, Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum

Have I Seen it Before: Yes. A handful of times.

Did I Like It: And in the past, I’ve never been a huge fan of it. Certainly not like other people do. I had decided somewhere along the line that this was just one of those films that I didn’t “get” like The Princess Bride (1987) or the Lord of the Rings series.

But as I continue with my creative work some of these last few years, I finally have begun to define just what my genre is. It’s not science fiction, certainly not of the hard variety to be sure. It’s not really historical fiction, per se, especially because I tend to not be able to help myself when it comes to sending my characters traveling through time. A reductivist will occasionally delight in calling it fan fiction, and if you hold true to that, the only defense I’ve been able to offer in the past i that I will occasionally delve into meta-fiction.

But that last term has never been able to cover it, really. All this time I’ve been trying to work in the milieu of neo-pulp.

And you’d be hard pressed to find a better example of whatever that might mean than this film. Clearly I needed to give it another chance, right?

And with that clarity of mindset going into the film, I definitely enjoyed it for what it is. The plot is a an elaborate confection of pulpy goodness, and the cast—especially Weller—has more than enough charisma to float things across any rough spots.

So what is the problem I’ve had with the film this whole time? I honestly think it was the film’s score. IT’s a bit too precious for its own good, and honestly, I’m still not a fan of it.

Independence Day (1996)

Director: Roland Emmerich

Cast: Jeff Goldblum, Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Randy Quaid

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. The summer of ‘96, this thing was bigger than Star Wars. At least, it felt like it was bigger than Star Wars, especially in an era before the special editions and the prequels. The family saw it during Independence Day weekend in Washington DC, which was probably the way to take in this movie intially. There were toys, there were tie-in novels, and there was the subsequent wearing out of a VHS copy.

Did I Like It: But then something happened. It was about a year after the film’s release, and I was at a Sci-Fi convention. They had a room devoted to endless screenings of various movies*. This movie was playing, I caught the tail end of it.

And I was bored beyond comprehension. I was thirteen. The film barely had a shelf-life of a year.

The jokes had burned out after the first viewing, the storyline collapses under even the slightest scrutiny of a thirteen-year-old, and the special effects would become passé very quickly after that. There simply isn’t that much movie there. Outside of a THX certified theater, the thrill disappears like vapor.

Seriously, this is a movie where scores of characters roll their eyes whenever Randy Quaid starts ranting about flying saucers, like visitors from another planet is the most patently ridiculous idea ever considered... While at the same time there are flying saucers everywhere. Did they hold any script meetings about this film? Or do people just have to react that way to Randy Quaid, regardless of the actual circumstances?

And still, I want to remember what enjoying the film was like. I suppose it’s a nice idea that the various nations of the world would get over their provincial differences and unite against a common enemy. Will Smith arrives fully-formed as a movie star for the masses here, having hinted at his charisma with Bad Boys (1995).

Also, the action figures came with computer games on floppy disks, which was pretty cool.

I’m trying, folks. I know the film is beloved by many, but it just ain’t me.

*Conventions don’t really do that any more, aside from anime. They should.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Director: J.A. Bayona

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rafe Spall, Jeff Goldblum.

Have I Seen It Before?: Yes…

Did I like it?: But it’s memory had pretty thoroughly faded by the time I came back around to watch it again. Quite specifically, I couldn’t remember in which of the World sub-series did they come upon the wrecked electric Ford Explorer that Sam Neill and Joseph Mazzello escaped from in Jurassic Park (1993)* until the scene that featured it came started in this film.

My lack of memory cannot bode well for my feelings about the film. It also is telling that I spent far more time wondering during this film than I did with the original Jurassic World (2015) why the vestiges of the old park from the original film weren’t completely cleared out by the time the 21st century version of the park opened.

I also can’t help feeling that this movie is really two ideas for two separate movies, neither of which were enough to prop up their own single feature. I’m fairly interested in the idea of a ticking timebomb movie, trying to save as many dinosaurs—even if they are trying to eat the people—as possible before a long dormant volcano takes everyone and everything out. I’m far less interested in yet another cat-and-mouse scenario with raptors, all held together by the tenuous glue of greedy heirs to the legacy of John Hammond. 

In my review of Jurassic World, I praised it for not feeling the need to hinge any part of its appeal on a returning original cast member. This film sees fit to fall pressure to the legacy sequel formula, but in its surrender is frustratingly stingy with what they’re prepared to bring us. We get a brief scene of Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) testifying before Congress, and then another scene of him doing the same thing at the end. I was promised a measure of Goldblum and I feel cheated by the amount I received. Even Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) knew its own weakness and attempted to compensate by turning the Goldblum meter up to 11.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Director: Steven Spielberg

Cast: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough

Have I Seen It Before?: I mean, I’m a child of the 90s and I like movies. How would I have gotten through my life without this movie?

Did I like it?: It’s only gotten better over the years.

I came to a revelation during my recent review for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008). With this film, Spielberg exorcised most of the populist impulses that had made his career. Sure, you have this film’s sequel, The Lost World (1997), and the aforementioned fourth Indiana Jones film, but those both seemed like chores Spielberg relented to, rather than films he was that interested in making. Double that sentiment for Ready Player One (2018). Perhaps he was indulging a return to form with the animated The BFG (2016), but I’ll let you know when I get around to seeing it.

But what a valedictory run this is. Every element works and became the standard for blockbuster movies to the present. The special effects have mostly not aged in over 25 years. I say that, but what I mean is that the physical effects (mostly by Stan Winston) still look like real things, which will keep this film working decades from now. The leading-edge computer images fare a little less well. Large tableaus of dinosaurs interacting with (read: eating) each other work pretty well, but any time ILM uses their tools to venture into the undiscovered country of the close-up, or if their sprites and polygons deign to interact with humans, the seams begin to show. It’s hard to be too critical of either Spielberg or the movie for this, as they were trying things that had never been tried before. However, with the knowledge that George Lucas saw this film and decided his own technology had finally elevated to the point where he could go back and make his long-gestating Star Wars prequels, well… the judgment of movie history might have

My wife points to this as John Williams best score, and I’m at a loss to argue the point. I’m also at a loss to come up with a theme that Williams has written since that was as memorable as the march he concocted with this movie. Everybody behind the scenes was going for broke here, it seems.

And yet the thing I am most tickled by during this, quite possibly my 100th viewing of the film—are the non-tech questions. The movie may be peak-Jeff Goldblum, and even when his character, Ian Malcolm, is vacillating quickly between smarm and snark, one can’t help but be amused by him. The movie might have worked had it just been him, and if Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) had gone for that, it might have been a lot more satisfying.