Clerks III (2022)

Director: Kevin Smith

Cast: Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes, Trevor Fehrman

Have I Seen it Before: Well…

Did I Like It: I remember after taking in Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) lamenting a bit that the occasionally promised evolution of Smith as a filmmaker was at best delayed—in favor of what felt like a thematic regression—and might never come to pass. Years later, as I took in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019) I was mildly charmed by the prospect of a reunion with old friends who were, by all appearances, content in if not insistent on staying exactly as they were in those fabled good old days.

And here, with a (final?) return to the Quick Stop I’m stuck somewhere in the middle. If anything, this felt far more like what one might have expected from Clerks II (2006), in as much as it actually takes place in the aforementioned Quick Stop. But then again, I’m willing to die on the hill that the second movie is far funnier than what we’re treated to here. Although, I will admit one’s reactions to the films of Kevin Smith are different at 22 than they will be at 38*. Not for nothing, but the realization made nearly thirty years ago that a little convenience store in Jersey doesn’t photograph all that great in color still holds up. Hence, the second movie spending as little time there as possible.

But there’s something beyond these little quibbles that is not quite right about this movie, and it’s taken me a few days to put my finger on it.

It has absolutely no idea what it wants to say about death. Or, in the alternative, it knows what it wants to say about death, but can’t hold that thought for long without directly contradicting it. Dante (O’Halloran) and Randal (Anderson) facing their mortality is a fine enough (albeit not inherently comedic) premise, but the idea that life is for the living only works for precisely one half of our heroes. Randall makes his movie (which, since it isn’t 1994 couldn’t possibly exist in a market absolutely engorged on independent film, but whatever) and finds purpose where he resolutely avoided it in the past. Dante, on the other hand spends the entire movie trying and failing to move beyond his grief, before he just dies anyway? I suppose he just wasn’t supposed to be here (Earth) today, but Dante’s arc—such as it is—is absolutely inert by the time the movie is over.

Oh, and the movie wasn’t especially funny. There, I can be a near-forty grump again.

* In a row? See, I can still get in the spirit of things…

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)

Director: Kevin Smith

Cast: Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Harley Quinn Smith

Have I Seen It Before?: As the movie willfully makes a point of reminding me at various points during its runtime, if you’ve seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001), then you’ve seen this movie, too. The characters are the same. Even their arcs (such as they are) are essentially the same. And yet, curiosity abounds. My view on Smith has dimmed considerably over the years. I used to be a regular listener of his podcasts, and would make a point of being there on opening weekend for any of his movies. Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) seemed like a step back from him. I was relatively ambivalent about Red State (2011). I bounced out of Tusk (2014) after about half an hour, steadfastly ignored Yoga Hosers (2016), and am somewhat relieved to realize that Moose Jaws never saw the light of day. So, you can imagine my surprise when I saw a trailer for this film and was something resembling intrigued.

Did I like it?: Well, let me put it this way:

Have you ever run into somebody you used to hang out with all of the time, but haven’t seen them in years, maybe even decades?

You chat for a while and catch up on old times. Old inside jokes abound, many unlocking memories that had been the farthest thing from your mind for God knows how long. Every once in a while, those memories even bring a smile to your face.

But then something begins to dawn on you. The version of you that knew this old friend? An absolute stranger. When you really start to think about it, there is nothing connecting you to this person anymore.

You say it’s great to see the old friend, and that they shouldn’t be a stranger. The first sentiment is only kind of true, and the second one is something resembling a fiction.

Has any of that ever happened to you?

That’s it. That’s the whole review.