X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Director: Bryan Singer

Cast: Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. Strangely enough, I’ve somehow managed to avoid watching most of the series since starting these reviews. But this last weekend, I’m getting an oil change at one of those lightning fast, don’t-even-leave-your car joints. The guys doing the oil change were talking about superhero movies, and I just joined right in. One of them says this was the best of them all, and I was hard pressed to disagree. So it went near the top of my list to re-watch.

Did I Like It: It’s not hard to say that this is probably the best of the X-Men films*. It manages to weave together many of the elements that made X-Men (2000) and X2: X-Men United (2003) some of the early entries of the superhero boom, and the later films that managed to refresh the series with X-Men: First Class (2011). It even manages to avoid the particularly baffling multiple timelines that weighed down the series as it wore on… Mainly because this is the film that drove the timelines off the tracks.

But then again, as one of America’s fine purveyors of time travel nonsense, I fully approve of even that much.

It also helps that this film largely works. It may not be the bubbly 60s spy movie homage of First Class or the subtle homage to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)** that is X-Men United. It does owe a lot to The Terminator (1984) and Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), and it may be the fact that at the moment I’m watching the Dirty Harry films, but Hugh Jackman has been spending the last twenty-five years just doing an Eastwood impression? It’s a pretty good one, sure, but… folks. That’s all he’s been doing.

That all reads like I’m picking at nits, but there were things that I found oddly affecting on this re-watch. And it only kind of has to do with the fact that the whole plot focuses on a megalomaniacal titan of the tech industry (Peter Dinklage) yanking a little too hard on the ear of the president (Mark Camacho) to bring us all to our inevitable doom.

All right, maybe it’s a bit more than kind of, but there’s other stuff here. I’m mainly focusing on the lost Charles Xavier as portrayed by McAvoy. He’s selfish and broken in a world where the only rational response would be to be selfish and broken. Who’s the only man in the entire multiverse who can set him right? The older, wiser Xavier as portrayed by Patrick Stewart. Hell, if I can’t have my future self set myself on the right track, I’d take any number of characters played by Patrick Stewart.

*If one ignores Logan (2017). We’re not going crazy here.

**I’ll die on this hill, but I probably won’t elaborate on it, unless I need to beef up the word count of this review.

Speak No Evil (2024)

Director: James Watkins

Cast: Mackenzie Davis, Scoot McNairy, James McAvoy, Aisling Franciosi

Have I Seen it Before: Never. Honestly, I would have let this one slip by if we hadn’t made a last minute change to the Beyond the Cabin in the Woods.

Did I Like It: Which would have been a shame, because I can’t readily remember the last time I was so thoroughly unnerved by a horror film. It likely helped that the film wasn’t at all on my era, as any amount of trailer probably would have given me at least some level of context going in. But really, I was probably more profoundly impacted by the fact that I was brought up by compulsive vacation befrienders, and I can easily imagine—with just a few wrong rolls of the dice—myself suffering the same fate as Ant (Dan Hough).

But the unnerving quality is there. It’s all the more impressive when one considers that the conceit of the thriller is not earth shattering in its originality (Hitchcock would have been able to make the hell out of this), and when one starts to realize that the two parents (Davis and McNairy) might be the dumbest couple in genre fiction since and Seven of Nine’s parents on Star Trek: Voyager. They keep climbing to the second floor in the third act, they really shouldn’t be surprised that the climax end up taking place mostly on the roof of Paddy’s (McAvoy, proving that he really can have some range in horror, as there is nothing of his character in Split (2016) to be found here) fact that I just happened to be in the middle of my third or fourth re-watch of Halt and Catch Fire and I had to spend more than a few minutes getting over my incredulity that Davis and McNairy are playing a—even unhappily—married couple.

IT - Chapter Two (2019)

Director: Andy Muschietti

Cast: Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa

Have I Seen it Before: New release, opening weekend. And yet… It’s all looking a bit familiar.

Did I Like It: I’m sad to report that my ultimate answer will be: Only sort of.

And I’m left wondering why that is. IT - Chapter One (2017) worked so thoroughly, I’m wondering if King’s original story inherently runs out gas if left to its natural conclusion. The original television miniseries adaptation of IT (1990) may have been one of the cheaper Canadian productions ever committed to films, but Tim Curry’s original performance as Pennywise the clown inspired a generation of coulrophobia, but if we as children all watched the two-night event to the end, we may have been freed of our anxiety when we realized the monster is nothing more than a poorly animated spider.

And so, we’re left here at the end of this film with a… poorly animated spider.

The new cast only kind of works, and their stories are just a tad too disjointed to make them believable as the driving force for this movie. The film around them never gels together as the ensemble piece it should be. Their current situations are zipped through with as much speed as possible, which continues to limit their ability to be fully-formed people. It also adds a layer of—Beverly’s (Chastain) own situation not withstanding—skepticism about marriage that one would normally find in a Woody Allen movie.

Even the children, who were largely a revelation in the film, are a distracting presence in this film, for the most part. The CGI Eddie Kaspbrak (does Jack Dylan Grazer even appear in this film?) easily ranks as one of the more unsettling creatures in the film, which only somewhat damns the creature design through the rest of the film.

There are parts of the film that work. The opening scene depicting the gruesome death of Adrian Mellon (Xavier Dolan) is exactly the nauseating form of banal evil that Derry should be known for. It’s discomforting in every measurable way, but it’s a shame that the creeping evil at the very heart of the town is never really addressed beyond this opening scene.

Each scene with Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård) is a symphony of horror that leaves this reviewer clenching in all of the right places, but they are few and far between. The film should really get a failing grade for presenting itself as the killer clown movies to end all killer clown movies only occasionally features its killer clown. The projector scene in Chapter One has no peak-terror equivalent in this entry, and only makes the film approach levels of forgettability that rivals the characters jumbled childhood memories. 

Much praise has been given to Bill Hader for his performance as the adult Richie Tozier. I for one think that Isaiah Mustafa as the adult Mike Hanlon brought a vigilant intelligence to the role that was sorely missing from the script of Chapter One. They both deserve every amount of that approval, and I don’t even have a counterpoint to negate that praise. So, in an effort to get the end of this review to be on a happy, positive note (one of the more drilled-to-death jokes in the movie), I think Mustafa should play Batman now. 

Dark Phoenix (2019)

Director: Simon Kinberg

Cast: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Sophie Turner

Have I Seen it Before: This is usually the part in these reviews where I make a joke about how a film is entirely too much like what came before it for me to label it a truly new experience. It will be incredibly difficult to not make a remark like that here.

Did I Like It: As much as I tried to avoid that above refrain, try as I might, I can’t say I’m 100 percent on board with this.

There should be a moratorium on adapting year-long epic comic book arcs into movies that can not (by studio mandate) run over 180 minutes of screen time. Superman movies have failed over a couple of formats to harness whatever was interesting about the death and rebirth of the Last Son of Krypton. Batman even managed to stumble a little bit trying to mash together Knightfall, No Man’s Land, and The Dark Knight Returns in The Dark Knight Rises (2012). And now the X-Men series have failed twice to capture the Dark Phoenix saga after two tries in less than fifteen years. These stories need longer to breath, which is why, ironically enough the most effective adaptation of the Phoenix saga actually occurs in the sixth season of “Buffy The Vampire Slayer.”

I’m not sure if Dark Phoenix fails as aggressively as X-Men: The Last Stand (2006), but it certainly trips up in new ways. The story is listless, being somewhat about an alien invasion story, and somewhat about the same set of characters we met in X-Men: First Class (2006). Matters are not helped by Hans Zimmer appearing to phone in his score, where 20th Century Fox (and now, presumably, Disney) fully owns the rousing John Ottman scores from the better films in this series.

There are some things to enjoy, here. McAvoy and Fassbender still prove equal to the task of filling the shoes of Stewart and McKellan. To be fair, that’s probably more praise for the team behind the sprightly X-Men: First Class (2011) than the work performed here. Some have indicated that Fassbender looks bored in the role, but I would counter that he’s doing the best he can with a script that doesn’t seem that interested in him anymore. How they got Fassbender (and for that matter, Lawrence) to extend their contracts into this movie is beyond me. Maybe the proceedings looked different before the film became engulfed in the flames of the dread reshoot entity.

Also, the opening moments are kind of sweet, with the X-Men being national heroes for the first time in their own film series. Gone are the days when they hide in the shadow. In fact, the President has a direct line to Xavier’s study. It put me—in the early goings—of thinking of how far this film series has come in nineteen years, now that it’s ending. Gone are the days where this series was trying to be a character drama that needed someone like Bryan Singer to make it at all comprehensible to film audiences, and now we’re fine flying into space and doing combat with cosmic forces. What a long, strange trip it has been.

If only it all came together a bit better. Ah, well. We’ll still have Logan (2017)*. Wait, is this the first X-Men movie to not feature Hugh Jackman at all? Weird. That may have been part of the problem.

*Which, by the way, this movie sort of absent-mindedly pisses all over the admittedly byzantine continuity set by the previous films. Logan can’t be the future of the original timeline established in the first three films in the series. That much is clear. As of the end of X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), it would seem like Logan belongs in that new timeline, extended into X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) and concluded here. But this film has Xavier retiring to play Chess with Magneto in France (for reasons, I guess) so I’m not sure how Xavier re-joins the school he built before the deterioration of his mind. And, I’m almost relieved to say, we will never have the opportunity to reconcile these multiple discontinuities. So, the lesson becomes that even when I try to dwell on the brighter moments of this series, this film only suffers all the more.

Glass (2019)

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Cast: James McAvoy, Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Anya Taylor-Joy

Have I Seen it Before: Oddly enough, there are parts of this movie I’ve absolutely seen before.

Did I Like It: I really want to. Desperately, even, and for the most part I think I’m right there. It might have helped if I had walked out about twenty minutes before the end.

A sequel to Shyamalan’s Unbreakable (2000) is one of those unattainable dreams in movies. Like a Star Wars sequel trilogy, or Patrick Stewart’s return to Star Trek, or a fourth Indiana Jones film…

Oh, wait.

They haven’t announced a Batman Beyond film starring Michael Keaton yet, have they?

Actually, the tale of how Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull (2008) came to be is what I think of most when I think of Shyamalan’s latest, Glass. For years, the first question the Indy team had to answer whenever they showed their faces was “When is the fourth movie going to come out?” Usually, the answer was a shrug. Then, after getting the question for 19 years, they finally “made good” on the “promise.” Say what you will, no one’s been asking for an Indiana Jones 5 after that.

So, to will it be with any future Unbreakable movies, and our lack of demand for more sequels, sadly, has little to do with the fact that most of the main characters are “dead” by the time the end credits roll around.

For 3/4ths of the movie, everything is grand. I’m eating a hot ham and cheese on a pretzel roll, drinking a glass* of beer, my wife is by my side, and Bruce Willis is protecting the streets of Philadelphia. All is well with the world.

Even when Willis’ Dunn, the Hoard (McAvoy), and Elijah “Mr. Glass” Price, are all stuck inside a mental asylum, the movie is filled with the mix of pulp philosophy and mind games that I would expect from such a movie.

And then our super powered comic characters break out of their respective prisons, and the roller coaster flies right off of its rails. The notion of a secret organization sworn to suppress super-normal activity, nor Glass’ mission to reveal the truth to the rest of the world is all well and fine. Unfortunately, the execution of that endgame is what leave me wanting. I’m sorry, Night. I wanted to believe you could stick the landing. Maybe its the natural tendency for the part three of a trilogy to be a letdown, but this isn’t working for me. 

There’s no catharsis. We are told to believe that superheroes are real and they could be anywhere, but anyone who might be a superhero is dead by the end of the film.

The ending also finds time to beggar all logic when it isn’t underwhelming. Why does this secret organization committed to snuffing out potential superheroes just kill their targets the moment they captured them? With only a few videos posted to youtube serving as the evidence of the extraordinary people, aren’t the Brothers of the Clover (my name for them, I guess, they’re jammed into the end of this movie all of a sudden) going to be able to spin their way out of this problem with a few well placed Fake News hashtags? And, not for nothing, it’s only about 85-90% clear that Dunn and Crumb are actually dead at the end. There’s no real indication they are alive either, just questions.

And maybe the questions are the point? Maybe the ambiguities will make the film age better on repeat viewings.

Maybe we’ll live to see David Dunn again.

So, when’s the fourth movie coming?

*Hey! That’s the name of the movie!

Split (2016)

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Cast: James McAvoy, Anya Taylor-Joy, Betty Buckley, and (dun dun dun!) Bruce Willis

Have I Seen it Before: I thought I was done with M. Night for several years now. People said I needed to go see it.

Did I Like It: They were right.

The text of this review appeared previously in a blog post entitled “Surprise! On M. Night and his rebound.” published 02/05/2017.

NOTE: SIGNIFICANT SPOILERS FOR SHYAMALAN’S LATEST MOVIE, Split (2016) follow. Also, I’ll talk about significant spoilers for plenty of other movies including Arrival (2016), Midnight in Paris (2011), and Back to the Future (1985). However, if you haven’t seen Back to the Future, what in the absolute hell are you doing reading my blog? Go watch Back to the Future. I don’t even know what to do with you anymore. Have you watched it yet? Okay, now we can get on with the blog.

Surprises in movies are a rare thing.

I spent last week heralding the art form of the movie trailer, but movie previews do have the tendency to load up the prospective movie goer with too much information. Honestly, when was the last time you went into a movie and didn’t know nearly everything about what you were going to see? It’s a rare thing to be surprised by a movie.

The stories of the test screenings for Back to the Future are an interesting example of the opposite phenomenon. A California audience was brought into the screening and told nothing about the film that would follow, besides that Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd is in it. Could you imagine how that movie played without any additional information? It’s a light and breezy 80s teen comedy for the first half an hour, before the very fabric of the space-time continuum is up for grabs.

Surprise time-travel may be one of my favorite things in movies. Arrival does it well, and Midnight in Paris singlehandedly elevates the late Woody Allen catalogue based solely on the device.

Then Lora informed me that she had both a) been spoiled on Split’s surprise ending and b) I would love the ending.

I had been pretty cool on M. Night Shyamalan’s work in recent years. Since I guessed—and then immediately dismissed—the twist ending of The Village I’ve had the feeling that his work was going downhill pretty fast. The Visit (2015) was a return to form for him, but I felt like he may never reach the zenith of his output, Unbreakable (2000)…

More about that in a minute.

With Lora giving it her now-spoiled seal of approval, I thought only one thing could force my wife to guarantee that I would love the movie’s inevitable twist ending. McAvoy’s split personalities would somehow be tied to some bending or breaking of the rules of the fourth dimension. That’s fine, I guess, but I wasn’t sure how they could possibly fit such a plot development into the movie.

Turns out I was wrong, but Lora was right that I loved the twist that was in the movie.

Ever since Shyamalan completed Unbreakable, there have been whispers about a potential sequel. The principals involved were game, but the original box office receipts were tame, especially compared with the money explosion that was The Sixth Sense (1999). It seemed like an Unbreakable 2 would join the ranks of Ghostbusters 3*, The Rocketeer 2**, or the Star Wars sequel trilogy*** as things that were just never going to happen.

But the moment that McAvoy’s Kevin Wendell Crumb escapes authorities for one final discussion with himself and the supernatural beast that lies within, a very familiar James Newton Howard score begins to play. That can’t be right, I think. Then we cut to a diner, where a news report of the events of the film plays out. Someone mentions that it reminds them of that crazy terrorist in the wheelchair they captured fifteen years ago. No one remembers his name.

“Mr. Glass,” David Dunn replies, looking an awful lot like Bruce Willis. “They called him Mr. Glass.”

Boom. Credits.

I’m the only one laughing in the theater. Some fifteen-year-old in the front row who thinks he is the smartest entity currently alive cries out, “DID ANYBODY GET WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT?”

“YES!” I cry, happy to engage with someone who was likely too young to possibly understand what was happening.

“OKAY, SO WHAT HAPPENED?” the little shit retorted.

“GO WATCH UNBREAKABLE!” I tell him.

“OH, OKAY,” the little kid says. An unspoken “old man river” is appended to his dismissal.

My unbroken trend of wanting to get into shouting matches with strangers after movies conclude aside, I’m blown away by this movie. It’s a solid Hitchcockian-with-a-touch-of-the-supernatural yarn, something that by this point Shyamalan should be able to do quite well. 

But, as with all great twist endings, the final moments of the film make it something else: a surprise sequel to Unbreakable.

A. Surprise. Sequel.

Has that ever been done before? Dan Aykroyd shows up for a cameo—ostensibly as Ray Stanz—in Casper (1995) but that is more of a gag than a greater link to a larger mythos. Robert Downey Jr. reprises the role of Tony Stark for the first time in The Incredible Hulk (2008), but that little easter egg was well-advertised in the initial push to create hype around the then-embryonic Marcel Cinematic Universe…

But this? I legitimately don’t think anyone has ever made a surprise sequel before. Maybe I’m wrong. If I am, let me know in the comments. In the meantime, I’ll be watching my well-loved Unbreakable blu-ray and waiting patiently for the climactic showdown still to come between David Dunn/Everyman/Security Man and Kevin Wendell Crumb/The Beast/The Hoard.

*For the record, <I’m fine with the remake>, but that doesn’t diminish how much I would have enjoyed seeing another direct sequel with the players still all in there prime. Probably by 1995, that was never going to happen.

**Which might still happen! Believe!

***Wait, what?!