Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Director: Jeff Fowler

Cast: James Marsden, Ben Schwartz, Tika Sumpter, Jim Carrey

Have I Seen it Before: No. I even took it upon myself to re-watch the original film. Isn’t it wild that we now have entire film franchises which have existed only in the time of COVID?

Did I Like It: I probably already covered most of this in my review of the first film, but: I think the mythos surrounding Sega’s mascot was always, and will continue to always be a complete and utter bore. The game was a faster Super Mario Bros., which certainly has its place, and reaching for those Chaos Emeralds adds a fun challenge layer to the game. But Knuckles? G.U.N.? Don’t even get me started on Shadow the Hedgehog, which has to be the dullest extension of a video game since the right Pong paddle.

The first film shakes most of that loose in favor of an admittedly wobbly human-best-friend story, but it was all serviceable, and to see Jim Carrey reach back for his inner-Riddler from <Batman Forever (1995)> was a delightful treat, made all the more heartening by the through that it might inspire the youth of today to go seek out the Bat-films of yesteryear.

This film only has Carrey continuing that schtick. Sonic’s best human pal (Marsden) is here, but his storyline is so perfunctory that what scant logic we have here would not have been impacted if both he and Sumpter were completely excised from the film.

Where does the film find the material to fill out the rest of the film while working with those defciencies? In Emeralds, and Knuckles (Idris Elba, who I hoped paid off a mortgage here), and Tales (Colleen O’Shaughnessey) and Shadow. I didn’t go into this film expecting much, but somehow it delivered everything I didn’t want.

Weird that a film would make me long for the restrained wonder that is Batman Forever, but here we are.

Superman Returns (2006)

Director: Bryan Singer

Cast: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Kevin Spacey

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. What else was there to do in 2006?

Did I Like It: I like Superman Returns. I think in many, many ways it is a throwback to another era of blockbuster spectacles, made at a time when every superhero film looked and felt like each other. Also, given that it turns out in addition to being a horrible sexual predator for decades, he is also one of the more undisciplined filmmakers produced by Hollywood in recent memory. Given his inherent sloppiness as a director, it’s a miracle any film he’s ever been associated with came together in any coherent way. That it is also a strangely personal film from a child of adoption about parentage and coming to grips with ones origin makes it worth at least some praise.

But I also dislike a lot of what is going on with the film. In fits and starts, it reaches to be the missing third movie in the Christopher Reeve series. I, too, have an affection for Superman (1978) and its sequel, so it’s slavish devotion to the work of Richard Donner is appreciated. It just doesn’t go for broke on the attempt. John Williams’ march is back in fine form, refrains from the planet Krypton make occasional cameos, and we even get a few tastes of “Can You Read My Mind,” and thankfully, no one takes a crack at a spoken-word rendition. But the musical motifs for Lex Luthor (Spacey, more ick easily available) are completely new and utterly bland. The failure of the score is made all the more frustrating by the fact that the new cues are courtesy of frequent Singer collaborator John Ottman, a composer whose work I’ve enjoyed in the past. 

The space zoomy opening titles are straight out of the Donner films, Marlon Brando is conjured into the film using footage left over from Superman II, and the Fortress of Solitude that informs the film’s MacGuffin is straight out of John Barry’s original production design, but made impressively more alive by the special effects of the time. But the visual trappings stop there. Singer could have gone for broke and had this film look like a product of the late 70s and early 80s. Instead, it’s obviously a film made in the mid-2000s, and had abandoned all hope of being timeless halfway through opening weekend.

Brandon Routh gets short shrift as the title character. He’s since proven himself an amiable presence on TV, and here he equates himself better than we all remember with the imminently unfair task of “being Christopher Reeve.” Kate Bosworth, on the other hand, not only channels nothing of Margot Kidder, she also practically sleepwalks through the role of Lois Lane, a choice which really should have put her at the bottom of the casting director’s list of potential choices for the role.

The film is just too flawed in key ways to fully recommend, and yet can’t be completely dismissed, either. Both the production of the film, and my reaction to it, are ultimately exercises in half measures.

Sonic The Hedgehog (2020)

Director: Jeff Fowler

Cast: Ben Schwarz, James Marsden, Tika Sumpter, Jim Carrey

Have I Seen it Before: Sigh. No. I’ve been resisting seeing it because I ultimately wasn’t aching to see a live-action Sonic movie (more on that later) and it felt like the time might come again fairly quickly wherein I could go catch it in a quick matinee. I eventually caved and watched it on demand.

Did I Like It: You know, kind of?

I’m a longtime player of the video games (or at least some of them), I can probably walk the Green Hill Zone, Act 1 in my sleep and get over 200 rings for my troubles. So, I’m not coming to the series blind, but I’ve never seen the point of any of the extended mythology surrounding the characters. The moment Knuckles the Enchida (which is a thing) arrives, there are far too many characters circling the series that are essentially repainted versions of the original blue streak*.

Thankfully, the movie eschews almost everything found in the nearly thirty years of history with the games. Aside from a cameo by Tails in a mid-credits scene and a brief prologue featuring one of the Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole (2010) (I think, honestly the opening is pretty weird) there is little mythology in sight, in favor of an agreeable abusing buddy road picture. The Chaos Emeralds are nowhere in sight, and some fans may blanche at that, but I maintain that we’re all better off. 

Ben Schwarz is always a welcome presence, and it’s nice seeing Jim Carrey return to the kind of schtick that made him famous. We probably don’t need two or three rubber-faced tirades a year, but a visit once in a while from a character not terribly removed from the 

Sonic as a creature doesn’t fully work, but one can imagine a large part of that is because of the film’s famed delays in production after we all collectively cringed at the unholy furry thing that greeted us in the trailer. Honestly, I think people would have gotten used to the new version of Sonic if he had been brought to full gestation, but we have what we have, and the fans are not rioting. That’s fine.

*Yes. I know Tails, Knuckles and the rest (the names of said characters escape me at the moment) all have slightly different approaches to and abilities in both the 2d and 3d worlds of the games, and no, I’m not terribly interested in discussing them. That’s kind of the point.