Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

Director: Jonathan Goldstein, John Francis Daley

Cast: Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Sophia Lillis, Hugh Grant

Have I Seen it Before: Nope.

Did I Like It: When I watched the movie it was the weekend. As I type this, it is… Tuesday…? and I’m in day… is it three…? of a massive power outage. I’m typing this while at the first opportunity I had to charge my devices while an episode of Frasier plays on my phone and I have ice in my glass. I am watching an episode of Typing is strange. Remembering movies are strange. How do they work again? How does any of this work again? This will teach me to delay a review for a day or more.

I see many of you on Twitter and elsewhere complaining about/celebrating the failure of The Flash (2023). I see many of you out there there talking about movies you’re watching, movies you’re dreading, movies you’re anticipating, and the

Like, I just like Frasier and ice in my glass. Is that too much to ask?

Ahem.

I now resume this review several days later. The power has been back on for a few days, and while I’m fairly certain not all of me came back from the great blackout of 2023, I am also certain that whatever the preceding paragraphs were, they weren’t much of a way to proceed with a review.

Assuming that the parts of me that are still here are the ones that watched the movie, it ended up providing more than what it promised. Funny and charming in equal measure, it is easily more fun than any single D+D session I’ve ever wandered into.

What’s the movie’s big mistake, ultimately? Had they not tied the whole affair to the brand, this thing could have become a very moderate hit. You, the one reading this review, should give it a look regardless of your thoughts on the game that wrought it.

Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

Director: Sharon Maguire

Cast: Renée Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Gemma Jones

Have I Seen it Before: Yes? It’s a favorite of my wife, and we’ve been together for long enough that I would have had to have watched in its entirety, right? And yet, can I be sure?

Did I Like It: It is difficult to dislike a movie like this. Zellweger is far more convincing and charming as the quintessential British everywoman than she has any right to be. Firth is at the purest point of his Firthyness muttering his way through every interaction. It was probably desperately needed for Grant to occasionally no longer be portrayed as a lovable handsome man, when in reality he is far more believable as—to bother a term—complete and utter wanker.

But let’s get to my Big Thought for this movie. For my money, Bridget Jones’ Diary is the Rocky IV (1985) of romantic comedies.

Wait. Don’t go. Let me finish.

While both the boxing movie and the romantic comedy are certainly prone to the montage to help their stories, let me ask you a question. Were one to take the montages out of either movie and let their stories play out not with characters looking wistful or forthright on their own, but instead with scenes where the characters actually interact and speak with each other (or at all), how long would the film actually end up running?

My guess is about 45 minutes.

I’m not even sure that’s a problem, necessarily. I’m a sucker for a silent movies, and I’m sure whichever conglomerate go to press the soundtrack album for those films made a mint. I just can’t help but wonder if ultimately there just wasn’t enough movie there, thus the padding. There are worse crimes for a movie, one supposes.

I didn’t expect at the outset of this review that it would double as review for both Bridget Jones Diary and Rocky IV, but here we are. The temptation to now re-watch Rocky IV and just republish the review is almost too much to bear.