Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Director: George Lucas

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid

Have I Seen it Before: I mean, we came this far. Why wouldn’t we “finish” things?

Did I Like It: You know, it’s an odd thing…

I want to say that anyone who believes this film isn’t the best entry in the prequel trilogy is being disingenuous, at best. I also want to say that anyone who thinks this movie is better than any entry in the original trilogy, is also being disingenuous. And finally, anyone who puts The Last Jedi (2017)* above any of the prequel trilogy are turning what used to be fun movies about space wizards with laser swords into a real chore. Thanks, guys.

Sigh.

Criticism of the Star Wars saga can be thoroughly exhausting, and yet I continue…

In my reviews of the other entries of the prequel trilogy, I lamented that the one element that might have recommended the films previously—the largely computer-generated special effects—tragically age the film beyond anything that Lucas might have originally hoped for. In this final Lucas-directed film, matters have improved slightly. It may not be entirely that there was a quantum leap forward in the effects, but there are more instances of digital characters interacting with one another, and fewer occasions where such creations awkwardly share a frame with an actual human.

That is not to say that the film is without its flaws, but this film’s deepest flaws are with its inherent design, not necessarily its execution. The tendency of prequels to depict scenes that previously lived in the collective imagination of backstory makes those resultant scenes a little less special. Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) had a similar problem. In my mind, the particulars of how Han Solo won the Millennium Falcon from Lando Calrissian was one of the greatest cons that ever transpired in this galaxy or the other. As depicted in the film, it’s just a well-played game of Sabacc. So, too, the duel on Mustafar between Vader (Christensen) and Obi-Wan (McGregor) always seemed sadder, and maybe a bit more minimalist as I imagined it. It wasn’t the huge, frenetic action sequence that Lucas ended up producing. It’s a minor nitpick, I suppose. Lucas was hell-bent on making the prequels one way or another; this was bound to happen.

Then there’s the real problem with Lucas’ contributions to cinema in the first few years of our new millennium. An advocate—nay, zealot—for shooting and projecting digitally, Lucas opened the century by insisting that if theater wanted to exhibit any of the new Star Wars movies he had coming off the line, that theater had to exhibit digitally. Most theaters acquiesced at least a little bit, and then realized digital projection was far cheaper across the board, and now here we are. Good luck finding a movie exhibited in 35mm. I can count on one hand the amount of movies I’ve actually seen on film in the last ten years. 

There’s a part of me that thinks the reel breaking during a screening of the special edition for The Empire Strikes Back (1980) in 1997 got back to Skywalker ranch, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and now we can’t have nice things anymore.

Do you miss those cigarette holes at the end of each reel? Do you miss the quietly insistent fear that the movie unspooling in front of you might just completely tear itself apart at any moment? Miss seeing the art of cinema displayed on the canvas for which it was intended? I sure do.

We shouldn’t blame Lucas for some fun adventure movies with some rough patches. We should blame him for film not being film anymore.

*That review of Episode VIII is going to be doozy, fam…

Star Wars - Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Director: George Lucas

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Christopher Lee

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. But, strangely, I’m thinking I may have not caught it until it had already been out in theaters for a few weeks, which may be the only instance of that during the Skywalker saga. Speaks to the state of Star Wars immediately post-Phantom Menace.

Did I Like It: Here’s a better question: What is the point in saying one likes or dislikes a Star Wars movie anymore? I say this is the worst Star Wars film, I’m just inviting a migraine inducing lecture about how The Last Jedi (2017) is the worst film in the series, which is fundamentally and objectively not true. I say this is actually the best—or at the very least most narratively consistent—of the prequels, the contrarians.

But this is a review, so I might as well go for broke.

Here’s where I land: this is not the worst Star Wars movie. The Phantom Menace (1999) is far harder to watch. Obi-Wan Kenobi (McGregor) in a solo Jedi detective story? Who honestly has a problem with that?

Now, is the romance between Anakin (Christensen) and Padmé (Portman) filled with a palpable awkwardness? Sure, but aren’t most romances that are doomed to absolute failure. He’s a rageaholic and she’s a classic enabler. Embrace the tragedy; this was the story the prequels—along with the rise of the Empire playing out mostly in the background—were destined to tell.

Now did the story of the fall of Anakin Skywalker ever really need to be told? I’m reasonably sure that it didn’t, but this is a laser sword movie with spaceships (and Yoda [Frank Oz] actually putting his lightsaber skills to use!) if we keep sticking our collective heads up our asses, Lucasfilm is going to start making the long-fabled sequel trilogy, and we’re going to inexplicably complain about those movies, too. Even if they’re good. 

So, you can kind of tell where my review of The Last Jedi is going to go already, right?