The Elephant Man (1980)

Director: David Lynch

Cast: Anthony Hopkins, John Hurt, Anne Bancroft, Freddie Jones

Have I Seen it Before: I think so? It would have to have been long enough ago that I spent most of my time watching it not remembering large swaths of what I was seeing.

Did I Like It: It may be a controversial opinion, but I tend to think that Lynch is at his best when he’s a little pinned in by the constraints of commercial filmmaking*. Eraserhead (1977) is—is admittedly intentionally—sort of hard to watch and love. The Straight Story (1999) is probably his best movie**.

So it is here that things are the best of all possible worlds, where Lynch is forced to make a movie a wide audience might see, but is allowed to indulge his instincts a little bit, as a treat. When I’m talking about Lynch’s instincts, I’m not even referring to the makeup job that transformed John Hurt*** into John Merrick. That’s the part that tries to relate to the audience on their own terms. The entire film is an empathy sandwich, real human emotions nestled in between two thin amounts of absurdism****. Where Eraserhead’s symphony of absurdism is directed toward discomfort, The Elephant Man is aimed towards our compassion.

And it works.

The weirdness comes in only at the beginning and the end, where we are treated to an abstract view of Merrick’s conception (I think; we are dealing with Lynch here) and his death. But even that last part is life-affirming.

*You and I both are immediately thinking of a notable exception in Dune (1984), but what is a hot take without an obvious, glaring exception?

**At this point, I should probably just launch a “hot takes about the career of David Lynch” blog, no?

***Completely off topic, but could you imagine what it would have been like if Hopkins had played the War Doctor? The things my mind will drift towards…

****Maybe it’s more of an emotional panini?

Firestarter (1984)

Director: Mark L. Lester

Cast: David Keith*, Drew Barrymore, Freddie Jones, Heather Locklear

Have I Seen It Before: Never, although it feels like one of those movies I should have taken in by cable osmosis over the years.

Did I Like It: Even the most cursory glances at the history of this movie shows one that there is an alternate universe where The Thing (1982) was an absolute monster hit (which would have been a good thing, heh) and John Carpenter would have gone on to direct this movie.

And I’m not certain that would have improved things. Not to knock Carpenter (hallowed be his name) at the peak of his powers, but taking the one-two punch of a King story that doesn’t feel as if has a whole lot to it* and Dino De Laurentiis continuing a nearly unbroken trend of turning even potentially good movies into something less than they might otherwise have been. That statement will at least be given a somewhat thorough test in a couple of weeks when the remake comes to the surface. At least that one, I’m pleased to report, will have a John Carpenter score, so that’s at least something it will have going for it. Even a Tangerine Dream score is a pale substitute, and they do certainly feel like they’re going for something in that era of Carpenter’s musical output.

Here, though, ever performance is so pointedly self-conscious—with the possible exception of Martin Sheen who I would watch do anything—that I’m never afforded a moment of peace to even dream of suspending my disbelief. This certain goes for Barrymore, who a more talented director could have gotten a more engaging performance out of, but also goes for Keith, who never believes a moment of what’s happening around him (I don’t blame him), but also goes doubly for George C. Scott, who should have known better, if even only as a matter of taste.

* Not Keith David, for anyone who was getting inordinately excited.

* Others have told me it is actually one of his best. I believe them, and yet am not in a hurry to go track it down. (He types, in the very same instant that he stops the review to go look into a Kindle copy, and even then, deciding not go through with it.)