Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2023)

Director: George Miller

Cast: Anya Taylor-Joy, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Burke, Alyla Browne

Have I Seen It Before: Nope!

Did I Like It: I struggled with it for a good long while, not unlike I struggled with Mad Max Fury Road (2015). I know I am supposed to like it. A lot. I’ve gotten the memo. And yet… The craft of the stunts are pretty great (although my memory is telling me that the CGI here is a little wobblier than its predecessor) but the bombast and supposed hopefulness of the characters always leaves me detached from the proceedings. I’d be absolutely useless in a real apocalypse; I’m pretty useless when they’re depicted on screen.

But still, after a bit of slow going, I found myself oddly charmed by this one. I might be the perfect audience for the series as it continues. Apparently the series doesn’t even care about continuity, so for a long stretch I just assumed Praetorian Jack (Burke) was Mad Max—Burke is more of a dead ringer for a younger Mel Gibson than Tom Hardy ever was—and had fun with it. I guess I was wrong, but I’m not entirely sure Miller cares how I have fun with these movies, as long as I do.

Then there’s the ending, where I really think the film becomes special. Any number of revenge epics—sci-fi or otherwise—come to a head where the protagonist finds the object of their, well, fury. The story can really only go one way from here, but this movie acknowledges that, makes that part of the character’s struggle, and then finds a surprising and just fate for the evil that men do. I’ve honestly been thinking a lot about that ending since walking out of the film. Action movies have a hard time doing that these days.

Oddly enough, with that in mind, I now have a hankering to watch Fury Road again. That’s probably a pretty good endorsement for this, all things being considered.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Director: Taika Waititi

Cast: Chris Hemsowrth, Christian Bale, Tessa Thompson, Natalie Portman

Have I Seen it Before: Nope.

Did I Like It: The film is certainly less enjoyable than the sublime Thor: Ragnarok (2017). There are any number of reasons why. I think the fundamental listlessness of the Marvel Cinematic Universe post Avengers: Endgame (2019) (give or take a Spider-Man or three) is weighing down everything coming from Feige and Co.

That gives us a sense of the mentality that might have led to this, but doesn’t explain the anatomy of the disappointment. Whereas Ragnarok delightfully contorted itself into a cosmic Midnight Run (1988), this is content to be a benign and pedestrian romantic comedy.

Even that could have worked in a limited sort of way, so the real question becomes: why does (even two weeks after seeing the film) it leave a bad taste in my mouth?

It’s not the performances. Hemsworth is still pretty great, and manages to wring every laugh out of the proceedings any mortal man could. It also helps that for several moments he’s placed next to Chris Pratt for several scenes who has gotten blander and blander as time goes on, where Hemsworth continues to show an apt comic presence. While he and Portman don’t quite have the chemistry they possessed in the original Thor (2011), I’ve seen screen couples with far less chemistry, and many of those have had the Marvel vanity card in front of them. Christian Bale proves—not unlike Michael Keaton did in Beetlejuice (1988)—that all of the best Batmen could have credibly played the Joker if they absolutely needed to. Clooneys, Kilmers, and certainly Afflecks need not apply.

The thing that really irks me about the movie is the sharp left turns the story feels the need to take with the character. Some complain that Thor’s weight gain in the most recent Avengers films has been derided by some as a simplistic display of depression and trauma, but it was certainly an attempt to depict some kind of emotional arc for a movie superhero. If you didn’t like that choice, don’t worry. Hemsworth sheds the pounds—and, presumably, the emotions surrounding them—in the film’s opening minutes.

One might think that another left turn in the film’s closing minutes would set things right, but this isn’t missing your exit on the highway. It’s an attempt to hint—perhaps threaten—that Thor 5* will be a repackaged Three Men and a Little Lady (1990).

*Given why this film is called Love and Thunder, the title should have really been held for a next film, should it ever come.

Men in Black International (2019)

Director: F. Gary Gray

Cast: Tessa Thompson, Chris Hemsworth, Kumail Nanjiani, Liam Neeson

Have I Seen it Before: While a new release, everything about this movie has been seen before.

Did I Like It: Not really, no.

And that’s okay. The movie’s heart is in the right place. Moving away from an American-centric version of the franchise both adds some flavor to the movie (and, cynically, increases its odds at a higher international box office). Making our protagonists a woman of color is a great choice, and Tessa Thompson continues her streak of being great, even if this movie isn’t doing her any favors.

And the fact that the movie surrounding her isn’t very good is kind of comforting. For years, any movie that has dared for any degree of increased representation was required to be good, or it would have been used as evidence that representation itself is flawed. That this movie underwhelms is not being used as evidence that films should continue to be as white and male as they possible can be.

I just wish it was funnier, you know? Chris Hemsworth has proven in recent years (especially when paired with the perfect comic partner like Tessa Thompson) to be the goofball the world needs right now, but here he is straightjacketed into a role not far removed from a warmed-over Han Solo. The plot is predictable to the point of being paint-by-numbers, and that has been forgiven in plenty of films, as long as it had been funnier.

Then again, the original three Will Smith starring films are only intermittently funny, so I suppose this movie lives up to its heritage. Maybe it just needed to come from stronger stock.

But, honestly? The fact that you enter the London MiB field office through an antique typewriter shop nearly flipped my review to be positive. So, it’s not completely without charm.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Director: Taika Waititi

Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blanchett, Mark Ruffalo

Have I Seen it Before: Absolutely.

Did I Like It: Man, there’s not really a weak entry in Marvel’s fabled phase three, is there?

There was a sense, immediately from the first scenes of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek (2009) that Chris Hemsworth is a movie star. That it took this long for Hollywood to get the fact that he’s a big goofball is a shame. We could have gotten a lot more movies like this. There’s bits of it in the original Thor (2011) has a little bit of this sensibility, but tragically Thor: The Dark World (2013) is content to be as dour as possible.

Such is not the case with this third—and let us not hope final—entry in the Thor series, the weight has been lifted and Hemsworth is allowed to be his most true screen persona. It’s a buddy comedy movie. Not only that, it is a triple-threat buddy comedy movie as Hemsworth easily pairs with no fewer than three straight people in the forms of Loki (Hiddleston), Hulk/Banner (Ruffalo), and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson). In more than a few of those cases, Hemsworth is able to switch gears and be the straight man himself in those pair offs.

It’s also a wildly imaginative Space Opera that feels fresh even when my intellect tells me there was a studio note to make the latest Thor movie more like those Guardians of the Galaxy movies. It may also be the most incisive documentary about the true nature of Jeff Goldblum that we’re likely to get.

One might be willing to complain that this doesn’t feel like the third part of Thor’s story as presented in the previous films. His romance with Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) is offered no more than a quick line of dialogue about how they broke up, but when the movie is this good, I’m relatively certain we shouldn’t care.

Odin is dead. Long live Thor. At least, I hope. After everything he’s been through, he deserves more breaks like this. Long live the Marvel movies, if they keep being this lively.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Director: Joss Whedon

Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth

Have I Seen it Before: I’m having a hard time remembering the last time I wasn’t in a theater during the first weekend in May watching some kind of Marvel movie. I’m relatively sure it was 2001. Kids, ask your parents.

Did I like it: This has generally been considered one of the entries in the series that worked the least, and I can’t say I disagreed with that assessment at the time of release.

But here, with the Infinity Saga now complete, I wanted to believe that it had a Back to the Future Part II (1989) vibe, and would feel more satisfying when the setups that this film is filled with are more completely paid off.

And in some cases, it does work better. The vision Stark (Downey Jr.) has of the Chitauri’s return has much more resonance now that we have all seen the Endgame and where Stark would wind up.

In other cases, the movie isn’t working all that great. Thor’s sojourn into the cave doesn’t even really feel like a good set up for the beautiful confection that is Thor Ragnarok (2017), and most of the other characters visions at the hands of Scarlett Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) don’t quite hit like one might hope. While the aforementioned Scarlett Witch and Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) are interesting and watchable new characters, their introduction into the world will make a fuller exploration of the X-Men in this universe (now that Disney/Marvel has acquired 20th Century Fox and by extension, the entire Xavier brand) when that time comes.

Even the stuff that isn’t necessarily meant to set up other films fails to function completely. Nearly everything involving the Hulk (Ruffalo) and Black Widow (Johansson) never fails to connect. It’s a shame, as both actors have proved to be MVPs in other Marvel films. The less said about the sun down thing, the better. Future films were wise to drop those elements as quickly as they could.

But there are things that work by their own rights. James Spader as Robo-Alan Shore is a delight, and he deserves more credit. Vision (Paul Bettany) is a bizarre creation that gets better and better with every film in which he appears. Stark and Banner’s initial efforts to create Ultron (Spader) bring to mind the more thrilling creativity that Stark exhibited in the first Iron Man (2008). The party scene is low-key delightful. Robert Downey Jr., Robert Downey Jr., and finally Robert Downey Jr.

Ultimately, though, it is still a case of a film not quite successfully reaching for the ambitions it sets out for itself. It’s not an awful thing, but it can 

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Director: Alan Taylor

Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Christopher Eccleston

Have I Seen it Before: Tragically, it has been the most recent film I’ve seen at the drive-in. It is also the MCU movie I have probably re-watched the least.

Did I Like It: And there’s probably a reason that I haven’t watched it all that much.

I’ve always known this movie was at or near the bottom of many and my own personal rankings of the Marvel movies. I think it hits me in the opening few seconds. It’s not a moment like Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987) where something is truly, deeply wrong with the film and there is no chance of improvement. It is more banal than that. Odin (Anthony Hopkins) opens with a sweeping narration about what the Dark Elves are and why Malekith (Eccleston) has a beef with the Asgardians. Now, if you must open your big visual blockbuster with a VO—and I’m not entirely convinced this one does—you could do a lot worse than Hopkins. But, man, do I already want a nap after all that. The film is packed with this warmed-over fantasy banality that the film can never quite come together fully for me.

It is not completely without it’s charms. The pleasing qualities of the first Thor (2011) and what would become the bonkers fun of its successor Thor: Ragnarok (2017) are here, they’re just in highly rationed amounts. The tragically underused Heimdall (Idris Elba) gets a goodly action sequence or two to call his own, whereas he is appears content to just glower and watch for the rest of the series. The score—by MCU score secret weapon Brian Tyler—is actually one of the best of the whole series. Chris Evans’ cameo is quite a bit of fun.

It isn’t a bad movie, really and truly it is a testament to the MCU that they haven’t made an objectively (your mileage may vary) bad film. Nearly every other much shorter film series has a stinker. It’s just so pointedly obvious that everyone involved here—except for perhaps journeyman filmmaker Alan Taylor—is capable of so much more.

Now, that all having been said, if this review makes you put this film in the “non-essential” category, I don’t know if I would go that far, either. Missing The Dark World will make a large portion of the middle hour of Avengers: Endgame (and some truly enchanting expositioning from the freely wacky Thor) largely incomprehensible, and would rob that far more amvbitious film of some decent emotional beats. If that isn’t a recommendation (if a slightly damning one), then I don’t know what is.

The Avengers (2012)

Director: Joss Whedon

Cast: Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo

Have I Seen it Before: I was there opening weekend. It kind of feels like we were all required to show up for it.

Did I Like It: I also think we all tended to like it.

We now know The Avengers films are meant to be the biggest of big tenpole movies. The idea of the four-quadrant picture was created in hopes of movies like this. It’s not the place for an iconoclastic filmmaker to play with what it means to be a blockbuster. It’s more like the season finale of an extremely successful TV show. It takes a workmanlike temperament, and if you can get a large cast of main and supporting characters to mesh well together and each have their moments in the sun. 

Enter Joss Whedon.

He’s a good TV writer. It’s in his blood. He has ushered in rightful classics like Buffy, and done such memorable work on short-lived shows like Firefly, that they are somehow still remembered long after their untimely death.

But this film—only his second feature as a director after Serenity (2005)—is a big budgeted TV episode. It’s shot like one, with everything functionally but artlessly lit. Visually, it may very well be the least engaging of all the Marvel films. That can be a tough competition.

And yet the film works because all of Whedon’s skills are brought to bear. Iron Man (Downey, how could anyone else play the role) has shaken off any first sequel jitters and is back in fine form. Thor (Hemsworth) and Loki (Tom Hiddleston) do their Thor and Loki thing. Hulk/Bruce Banner (Ruffalo) finally finds the right alchemy for the role and manages to be the most entertaining part of film, a feat Hulk has not measured up to until now. Even Captain America (Evans) manages to find a few wholesome quips that keep him Cap, and not some pale shadow of the funnier characters around him.

That these characters work together at all is a pleasing, giddy surprise, but it ultimately isn’t a memorable film in its own right. That’s okay. That wasn’t Whedon’s job. Thankfully, we could—at the time this film was released—still look forward to a slate of much more interesting, stranger films featuring all of these characters.

Thor (2011)

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins

Have I Seen it Before: Less frequently than I had originally thought. Aside from Iron Man (2008) I really have not re-watched much of the Phase One MCU films.

Did I Like It: I think I liked it at the time of the premiere, but in light of far more entertaining uses of the character, I’m not sure it has aged as well as some of the other Phase One-ers.

This film is at odds with itself, or at least my reaction to it is at odds with itself. 

On one hand, it is a highly staged cgi-drowned tale of Kings and their realms. This is probably what caused the powers behind Marvel studios to think of Kenneth Branagh as the director, and what may have drawn the Shakespeare adapter-in-chief to the project. This is a fine, but quickly boring aesthetic on which to base a film. One need look to the more focused—and infinitely more forgettable—sequel, Thor: The Dark World (2013) for how far such stodgy staging will get you.

The other half of the film is even more baffling. Groaning under budget constraints at a time where a shared Marvel universe wasn’t necessarily a guaranteed way to print money, the rest of the film plays out in a nearly abandoned New Mexican town, with a few scant explosions, and one CGI robot thing. A far cry from the epic films we expect from the studio now. This is all to say that half of this film looks cheap. TV cheap. Like Agents of SHIELD during seasons when everyone stopped watching cheap. It’s such an odd relic of an era for these films that seems like it took place a million years ago.

But, the MCU—and more importantly Thor, Odinson continued—and there are charms in the film that allowed the experiment to continue. What it lacks in the traditional whiz-bang blockbuster magic, it more than makes up for in engaging performances. Chris Hemsworth threatened the world with his movie star charms in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek (2009), and while the goofy comedian behind the manhunk doesn’t come into full bloom until Thor: Ragnarok (2017), we see pieces of the once and future Ghostbuster Secretary Kevin here. Similarly, Natalie Portman sheds the Padme Amidala of it all and—while it’s not exactly heavy lifting in the film—convincingly engages in a screen romance.

i suppose it says something about the Marvel movies that they are supremely watchable in their initial release, but seem quaint as the movies only improve. Imagine a world where Avengers: Endgame (2019) feels quaint. I’m already exhausted.

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Director: Joe and Anthony Russo

Cast: Robert Downey Jr. (why you got to do me like that?), Chris Evans (or as he shall forever be known, Creepy Uncle Steve), more Gwyneth Paltrow than I thought we were going to get, and Jake Johnson as Thor.

Have I Seen it Before: Opening weekend. Man I wish I had seen it months ago, but that’s a completely different question.

Did I Like It: As I’m typing this I’m a little emotionally compromised. For any number of reasons. I’m reasonably sure I liked it, but let’s find out together.

Well, we certainly have a new way station for any future games of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.” Come to think of it, after the additional name drop in Avengers: Infinity War (2018), I’m a little surprised we didn’t get an appearance by Mr. Footloose himself. Michelle Pfeiffer is in it. Tilda Swinton is in it. Rene Russo is in it. Robert fucking Redford is in the picture, and he said he stopped acting. I’m relatively sure that anyone with an active membership in the Screen Actor’s Guild (with the notable exception of Edward Norton and Terrance Howard) is in this film. It might single-handedly explain the recent dip in unemployment.

One might get the sense that as packed with characters as it is, this (final?) Avengers picture is the final realization of that famous scene improvised for Parks and Recreation by Patton Oswalt, but every minute feels earned, and successfully pays off ten years and twenty-two films previous set up. It’s 

Some of it’s time travel doesn’t quite pass the smell test, primarily when we are considering the ultimate fate of Captain America. Even if one were to sufficiently explain these apparent plot holes, how he managed to get the Soul Stone back to Vormir beggars all belief.

And then there’s the finality of it all. I’ve already dipped into a few minor spoilers above, but if you haven’t seen the film by the time you read this (and something about the early box office figures tell me you have), go see it. We’ll mourn our permanently fallen heroes later. Now, I kinda want to go back to the beginning with Iron Man (2008).

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Director: Drew Goddard

Cast: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz

Have I Seen it Before: Sure.

Did I Like It: What’s not to like?

I know this assessment could potentially get me in trouble with some circles, but here it goes: Drew Goddard’s Cabin in the Woods is not a horror movie. Now with revered films like Get Out (2017), Silence of the Lambs (1991), and Psycho (1960), the “not horror” pronouncement is meant to de-ghettoize the film and give more high-brow audiences permission to like the movie. Here, it’s just true. Cabin… is a high-concept comedy draping itself with horror trappings. 

Unlike other potential candidates for “comedy in horror’s clothing (Scream (1996), Shaun of the Dead (2004), this film drops all pretense at being a true horror film by the time its final act kicks into high gear. In fact, by the film’s climax, it is so jam-packed with references to other films and stories, that it is impossible to be frightened or startled or left uneasy by the film. We’re too much in on the joke by that point.

That is not to level an undue level of criticism against the film, either. The joke is sublimely crafted, but anyone who still insists that it is a horror film at that point is attaching themselves to the trappings of the other section of the films past the point where the film has any interest in it.

And let’s get serious. Six years later, there have not been any grotesquely lame sequels? Or, for that matter, any sequels of any kind? That’s not horror. Prove me wrong.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Cast: Robert Downey, Jr, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pine, Chris Pratt, Criss Cross, Your Mom

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. I’m hip to the new movies the kids like.

Did I Like It: What’s not to like? Is that damning praise? I’m not sure.

I remember when X-Men (2000) was coming down the pike sometime in the last millennium. Everyone had a fear that it would be impossible to tell a coherent—to say nothing of interesting—superhero story that would have to serve as many ten characters within one finite runtime.

It seems like such quaint times now, and I’ll leave you wonder if I’m only talking about Marvel movies.

At any rate, the second sequel to The Avengers (2012) reaches to incorporate nearly every corner of the decade-old Marvel Cinematic Universe, breaching the divide between—by my count—nine different franchises, eighteen different films, and thirty-three different characters.

And it mostly succeeds. On second viewing of the film, the does feel a little bit like it is three separate Marvel ensemble movies lightly edited together. Few characters get an arc, and even those that do have a decidedly unfinished quality. Which, admittedly, is by design.

The film sings in the final act when the disparate plots begin to coalesce, but the filmmakers are playing us for fools. The carpet is quickly pulled out from under us, and we are left only with the hope that they can turn things around for the universe in the next movie, the knowledge that there will be a next movie, and the absolute certainty that Marvel and Disney aren’t going to stop making Black Panther movies.

Man, those final minutes are wrenching, even if we have a growing suspicion to its impermanence. Even other, similar downer endings (The Empire Strikes Back (1980), and Back to the Future Part II (1989) immediately come to mind) go out of their way to let us know how things will eventually be put right. This one just cuts to black, and won’t even hint at a title for the next adventure.

I don’t know, I just worry Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) won’t survive Untitled Fourth Avengers Movie (2019). Even an army of suits will not be able to protect him from Aunt May (Marisa Tomei)—the filmmakers having confirmed that she survives the cataclysm of Thanos (Josh Brolin).