Sisters (1972)

Director: Brian De Palma

Cast: Margot Kidder, Jennifer Salt, Charles Durning, Bill Finley

Have I Seen it Before: Never. The film always exists just on my periphery, being a fan of De Palma’s later work as I am. Always on the lookout for more movies to cover on Beyond the Cabin in the Woods, but I have long since learned that I probably need to see the movie before I actually recommend it to the others.

Did I Like It: So, then this review attempts to tackle two questions. First, am I going to push for it to be covered by the show, and do I recommend it for the movie viewer at large. It’s entirely possible for a film to not quite live up to the horror genre entirely, but still be a necessary film, or even a film worth your time.

I’m of a somewhat conflicted mind on both questions. The film plays with slasher conventions—indeed, before the genre really exists outside of Psycho (1960)—in a way that keeps things interesting, especially for the film’s first half. If that first half had been the whole movie, you’d probably be hearing a charming back and forth unpacking the film sometime next year, but I would have already told you to go watch it.

But, unfortunately, every film that has a a strong first half has to be judged at least partially on the basis of its second half as well. The really great thrillers sell themselves on their second half, and this one becomes too jarringly unfocused to really get behind. When the film is less about a man meeting a woman to whom he’s attracted, only to find her home life to be a horror show is good. The investigative journalist who just happens to see the murder take place might feel a little clockworky, but it does deftly set up her challenge to get authorities to believe her. Then things become a little less Psycho and a little more some variation of later Halloween sequels. That might ring a little unfair, and while the final scenes are visually interesting, they can’t help but weigh down the thrills by buttressing them with excessive backstory.

When a Stranger Calls (1979)

Director: Fred Walton

Cast: Charles Durning, Carol Kane, Colleen Dewhurst, Troy Beckley

Have I Seen it Before: Never. In fact, if Columbia/Tri-Star hadn’t mae the Blu Ray packaging look like a well worn copy at a VHS rental store, I might have missed it for the rest of my life, or at least until it came up on rotation for Beyond the Cabin in the Woods at some other point in time.

Did I Like It: I liked twenty minutes of it, but that is all to say, no.

Carol Kane is so good at the beginning, and that first act is so taut it’s no wonder to see how it inspired Scream (1996) and its sequels just as much as Halloween (1978). But then the movie jumps ahead seven years for reasons never fully justified, and meanders in a dreary, fatigued cat and mouse game between an incompetent police detective turned PI (Durning) and the killer (Beckley).

I had the slightest bit of hope that when Kane—now married with children her own—returns for the final half hour of the film, things might be looking up. It probably would not be enough to get me to like the film, but at the very least it could have finished strong.

No such luck. Poor Kane succumbed to the sensibility of the rest of the film and lurches through the final scene turning into one of the more frustrating characters in a horror movie. People often moan and wail about horror movie characters doing “stupid” things. I’ve always fully been able to imagine a person in aa stressful situation doing things that might be ill-considered. Kane’s character appears to have entirely forgotten about her traumatic experience in the film’s opening and behaves as if certain, instinctual parts of her brain had never been fully connected.

So to sum up, a reasonably good twenty minutes, followed by 70 minutes of almost relentless bullshit, and one good Blu Ray cover that in retrospect… doesn’t feel that good.

That all being said: if they want to go for a legacy sequel with later-day Kane bringing her Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt to a self-aware slasher, I’d be happy to be first in line.

The Sting (1973)

Director: George Roy Hill

Cast: Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Robert Shaw, Charles Durning

Have I Seen It Before?: I have the vaguest of memories of trying to watch it once on cable, but edited to within an inch of it’s life, the movie dragged on for far longer than its just-over two run time. Definitely felt like I was missing something at the time. It completely mystifies me as to why that was a mystery back then.

Did I like it?: Yeah, I think so.

I kept hesitating to watch this movie because it’s been lionized for its byzantine plot. By the time my DVD returned to its menu, I was struck with the need to ask “Is that it?”

I expected the need to pay attention to every second of the film to even be able to follow it. Instead, I think I may have become the quintessential bad audience member at a magic show. I’m not blinking, and thus I see the slight of hand as it plays out.

So, I suppose it’s on me that this film just didn’t work for me. And that’s the unfortunate thing that can happen when people don’t watch the classics as quickly as they possibly can. They end up seeing all of the stuff that was inspired by the ur-example. The magic of the original is diminished, or in some cases, completely gone.

So, I come here not to damn The Sting, but to damn us for not getting on the ball and watching the greats. Learn from my mistake. Make better choices. If you’ve got a choice between watching Ocean’s Eleven (2001) and this, watch this first. If you have a choice between watching Joker (2019) and Taxi Driver (1976). If you have the choice between watching Notorious (1946) and Mission: Impossible II (2000), for the love of God and everything that is Holy, watch Notorious.

Let’s make better choices all around, people.