The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Director: Brian Henson

Cast: Michael Caine, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Jerry Nelson

Have I Seen it Before: Let’s put it this way: the frequency of the phrase “who did not die” is uttered in my house would annoy everyone that isn’t my wife or I. It certainly annoys the cat, who, by the way, stepped on me as I wrote this sentence.

Did I Like It: What is the role of a movie? Is cinema the only predominantly American export, shifting hundreds of millions of dollars around for the sake of the shift? Are they the only endurable cultural time capsule we are capable of creating in the modern age, even when the contemporary ones mostly smack of insincerity? Or am I overthinking the whole exercise, and they are just another kind of entertainment, no different at their core than Gregorian chants or paintings of cherubs?

Na, I think it’s a third thing. We watched the movie on Christmas Eve, with a holiday season nearly behind us that threatened to bring any reasonable person I’m related to the brink of madness. I could have searched the entirety of human experience for something to turn the mood around, and would have come up short. I even bought British Christmas crackers to give it a shot, but it turns out low-grade explosives only work on the fourth of July, even when they come with fun paper hats.

But you want to know something? Caine’s perfectly calibrated, straight-faced performance, combined with a surprisingly faithful adaptation of the Dickens story, infused throughout with just the right amount of Muppets zaniness caused or hearts to grow, if not two sizes, than just enough to get to sleep and face another day of needless familial acrimony.

That’s what the movies are. Escape is too tidy a word, I think. They are a vehicle for transcending anguish, if even temporarily. One might think that the Muppets lost something after Jim Henson’s death, but I would say—at least at this point—the original magic was certainly still present.

Labyrinth (1986)

Director: Jim Henson

Cast: David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly, Toby Froud, Brian Henson

Have I Seen it Before: Yes, and I can’t 100% remember when it might have happened. I missed it in my youth entirely, and by the time I did catch it in my 20s, my brain wasn’t in a place to take in any level of magic like Henson had to offer at the height of his powers.

Did I Like It: And I still think I may have missed the moment where this film would have burrowed into my brain in the way for which it was designed. Every moment is visually interesting (even the stuff that doesn’t quite work, i.e. some rudimentary CGI in the film’s early moments). Henson never stopped innovating, even if this squarely falls in the category of films where Henson took himself too seriously. I wouldn’t insist he only make the goofiest of Muppet movies, but I certainly know where my preferences lie.

I don’t dislike Bowie, but he’s never been a big part of my life, so the film already runs at a disadvantage. I enjoy Connelly a great deal, but I’m mainly thinking of her work in The Rocketeer (1991).

Which brings me to the thing about the film I just can’t—regardless of my generally unwavering respect for Henson and his work—wrap my head around. No, it’s not that the film never feels like it is anything other than an `80s film. It’s far more unnerving than that, although that would normally be enough for me to look down on a film. I’m reasonably sure we’re supposed to be swept away by the imagination and fantasy of the proceedings, but are we not also supposed to be pointedly creeped out by Jareth (Bowie) spending most of the film’s runtime leering after a teenage girl (Connelly)? It’s difficult to try to view the idea of marriage between these two characters as anything other than prurient when the aggressor is one of the most sexual figures ever to rise to the height of pop cultural consciousness.

Yes, it is quite clear either the movie missed me at the time it might have hit me harder, or I may be missing the point of the film entirely now. Nevertheless, there is a disconnect.