X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Director: Brett Ratner

Cast: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure.

Did I Like It: There’s so much about the film that works, I’m tempted to give the whole affair a pass, but it feels like everything that does work about the movie is left over from other filmmakers. The misé-en-scene of the X-Men cinematic universe and large swaths of the cast are remnants of Bryan Singer’s work* in the first two films. Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, and Ian McKellen—and they are really the center of the film, especially as one realizes that Famke Janssen is essentially the center of the film, but not much more than a MacGuffin with dialogue— continue to fill their roles with aplomb. The world and sets those characters occupy feel (at least occasionally) still real.

The storyline and new cast members here are largely left over from Matthew Vaughn’s (he who went on to revitalize the franchise with X-Men: First Class (2011)) abortive relationship with the film. Giving the mutants an opportunity to assimilate into the human world provides a good jumping off point for drama, and really only in a way that an X-Men story can. Kelsey Grammer is sublime casting for Hank McCoy/Beast, and I want to believe that had more to do with Vaughn than Ratner. Maybe I’m wrong.

But unfortunately, the film doesn’t end up being more than the sum of its part. It feels stripped down to fit into the shape of a pretty typical summer action movie. The pathos isn’t there. It’s too bad that it propped up the legend around Singer’s earlier work. If Dark Phoenix (2019) is any indication, the Dark Phoenix saga is probably the unadaptable story, and some of Singer’s polish might have worn off sooner rather than later…

Then again, he did make Superman Returns (2006) instead. So, maybe I am wrong.

*I feel a tad remiss in that I didn’t mention in my review of X2: X-Men United (2003) that the perceived idea of Singer’s auteur status seems like it was largely bunk, even before he couldn’t be relied upon to actually direct the films for which he received credit. Apparently he spent much of his career hiding his deep terribleness that the movies that mae him famous had to be largely completed by producers.

Red Dragon (2002)

Director: Brett Ratner

Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Edward Norton, Ralph Fiennes, Harvey Kietel

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. For some reason I can’t remember if I saw this or Manhunter (1986) first, but I think it might have been this one, as I saw it in the theater during my halcyon days as a high school senior, and I’m almost certain I didn’t see Manhunter until college. But who can remember anymore? My memory palace is for shit, if you’ll forgive my rudeness.

Did I Like It: No discussion of this film—as the eventual episode of Friendibals will attest—can be complete without dwelling on one topic before any others. No, it isn’t the inevitable comparisons of William Petersen vs. Edward Norton (they’re both fine; Petersen is more demonstrably mad around the edges), Ralph Fiennes vs. Tom Noonan (Fiennes feels more developed, but that might owe more to the script than anything else), Mann vs. Ratner (Mann is always stylish to the fault, so much so to the point that his films feel dated minutes after they’re released, while I don’t think Ratner has had an artistic ambition greater than calling “action” and “cut” when he’s supposed to), and ultimately Cox vs. Hopkins (the pictures for Hopkins’ obituary will inevitably include Lecter, although he feels bored and overly hammy here, whereas Cox relaxes into his evil).

While an analysis of all of these topics will give a pretty good picture of where this film lies not only against its previous adaptation, but among the rest of the Lecter series and serial killer films as a whole, the one topic that must, without a doubt be discussed is Mrs. Doubtfire (1993).  Yes, that one. The one with Pierce Brosnan*.

While going through the Leeds home, Graham (Norton) looks through a drawer of VHS tapes, before watching their home movies and staring at, but never really seeing the way he will catch the Tooth Fairy (Fiennes). Among the tapes area copy of Jaws (1975), which makes sense as it is also a Universal Release, the artwork features nothing that might run afoul of likeness rights, and most importantly, clearly something that would be available on home video “several years” after Graham runs afoul of Lecter in the film’s prologue.

But why the hell is Mrs. Doubtfire there? Are we saying this film takes place in (at the earliest) 1994? What does this say about when The Silence of the Lambs (1991) or, for that mater Hannibal (2001) take place?

I may have missed the point of the whole thing, but if I can zero in on that for most of the film’s runtime—in a series that’s main stock and trade is characters noticing things and making connection which not everyone else might—then maybe it’s the film’s—and really, Ratner’s—fault for not getting Doubtfire out of the Leeds’ house. I submit to you that, for all his journeymen level work and the cast’s impressive ability to elevate the proceedings, Brett Ratner missed the point, not I.

*Am I remembering that right? Was Pierce Brosnan in Mrs. Doubtfire. I’m almost sure he was, and I kind of don’t want to go look it up to find out.