Ocean's Thirteen (2007)

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Cast: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Al Pacino

Have I Seen It Before: Oh, sure. Come to think of it, a bunch of college friends in that summer after we all graduated went to see it when we couldn’t get in for Transformers (2007). Even though we ended up with the better choice, I still felt the need to admonish the people lined up* who managed to get tickets before us for being too obsessed with robots that are also cars.

Did I Like It: Even though we ended up with the better choice, it’s hard to avoid viewing this as the weakest of the Ocean’s movies. I so admired Ocean’s Twelve (2004) for conscientiously avoiding the trappings of the sublime first movie in the series. But here we are now, back to creating mischief in a casino. The fact that they’re not trying to actually steal anything, and simply want to bring ruin to the most odious and powerful casino magnate in Nevada (Pacino, who we’ve apparently never heard of before in two previous films) doesn’t change enough to make this demonstrably feel like a re-tread.

The cast has also reached critical mass, which always seemed inevitable. Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones disappear under cover a few quick lines of dialogue, as if their importance to the proceedings in the last two films was a mirage this whole time.

Now, that is a lot of complaining for a film that—for being the weakest entry in a trilogy—might very well be the best weakest entry of a trilogy ever made. The style is there. The fun is there. The misdirection is there. Asking for more might be a little greedy.

*God, it’s been so long since I’ve had to stand in line at a multiplex. I don’t miss it.

Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Cast: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherine Zeta-Jones

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure. There was probably a minute there right after W. won re-election that this was the big thing I was looking forward to in life.

Did I Like It: The fundamental truth is that your mileage with film is going to be directly related to how much you can tolerate a third act that largely hinges on Julia Roberts playing someone who is trying to impersonate Julia Roberts. I’m not going to say it will depend on whether you like that plot development, because if you’re reading this review, you’re a reasonable person and that plot element isn’t going to work for you.

Now, if you can get over the film’s one, glaring flaw, it might very well be the superlative entry in the series. The plot—when it isn’t descending (and admitting it is doing so) into b-minus sitcom territory—surprises. The mise-en-scéne is also frequently a delightful surprise. Everyone would have accepted or at least forgiven if this sequel was just a cynical re-hash of Ocean’s Eleven (2001) (don’t worry, we’ll get there) but this plays out like a holiday tentpole movie that has all the trappings of a light foreign film that most of the audience would never see in the first place.

This is not to say that all of what worked in the first film is abandoned. The chemistry among the thieves and between Pitt and Zeta-Jones and Clooney and Roberts all crackles, and the old-fashioned movie-star cool exuded here is never not a pleasure to watch. Just as the way Clooney orders a double whiskey in the first film lives in my head rent free for the rest of time, so too have I never seen a movie star live so comfortably in his own skin than Clooney does in his final confrontation with Toulour (Vincent Cassel). Every time I see that scene, I am convinced that if I could ever be as comfortable as that man is at that moment, all the problems of my life would simply drift away. It was apparently filmed at Clooney’s own villa, so he very nearly wet method with feeling right at home in his surroundings.

If only they didn’t have to have the whole Julia Roberts is Julia Roberts thing, it might have gone down as one of the all-time greats.

Babylon (2022)

Director: Damien Chazzelle

Cast: Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Diego Calva, Jean Smart

Have I Seen It Before: Well…

Did I Like It: Let me put it like this. Imagine I am the head of development at Paramount*.

Damien Chazzelle enters.

ME: So, what do you got?

DC: I want to remake Singin’ in the Rain (1952).

ME: Interesting… Interesting. Like, with the songs and the whole thing?

DC: No.

ME: I see…

DC: The film will open with an elephant shitting all over as many characters as possible.

ME: An ele—?

DC: Also, Jean Hagen’s character will die off screen, although its heavily implied that gangsters mutilated her with acid…

ME: All because she couldn’t hack it in the talkies?

DC: Well, see, she gambles too much…

ME: Okay…

DC: Also she throws up in William Randolph Hearst’s face.

ME: In?

DC: Yes, in.

ME: This is because of the elephant?

DC: They’re unrelated. Actually, the Hearst thing has nothing to do with her death, either. I just always wanted to watch someone barf on Hearst. (beat) Although I would imagine if she could have made it in the talkies, the studios would have paid the gangsters off with something other than prop money.

ME: Okay. Interesting.

DC: Also the Gene Kelley character shoots himself in the head at the end of the movie.

ME: Because of the acid?

DC: Unrelated.

ME: The thing with Hearst and the vomit?

DC: Unrelated.

ME: …the elephant?

DC: Listen, I’m going to make your life a lot easier and faster by saying that almost every element of the movie is essentially unrelated to any other element.

ME: Uh-huh. What happens to Donald O’Connor or Debbie Reynolds?

DC: Who?

ME: Never mind. (beat) Who the hell are you going to get to be in this movie?

DC: Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie…

ME: Oh. (thinking) Well, I’d watch that.

(This wasn’t even a negative review, really…)

*Which would still not let me wave my hand and release Batgirl. Somehow, even in my most power-mad fantasies, I’m still stymied.

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

Director: Neil Jordan

Cast: Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, Kirsten Dunst

Have I Seen it Before: Sure. My main memory is “Sympathy for the Devil” playing over the film’s last few minutes, which seems like a weird tonal choice. One wonders if several years later it will rise above that memory. I recently read the book, and I found it to be far too mired in an unrelentingly unhealthy fixation with Claudia (Dunst).

Did I Like It: I still think the final needle-drop is a weird tone shift for the movie. It reeks of something added in reshoots at the behest of a studio executive that felt if the movie had to end on a down note, it at least needed one more jump scare to get people out on an adrenaline high. It doesn’t really make sense that Lestat (Cruise, back when he could reasonably be expected to share leading-man status with anyone else in a film) is there in San Francisco, back to something resembling full strength after spending that much time enfeebled by his last encounter with Claudia.

And yet, I did enjoy the movie if I take those last few minutes out of the equation. I’ll admit that I found the novel to be a terrible slog, more interested in navel gazing than in moving along with themes or plot, but Jordan and company have wisely moved things along at a brisk enough pace. I was especially moved by the notion that this is—if even briefly—a movie briefly very in love with movies. Louis finds he does miss the sunlight, and eventually finds as motion pictures develop that he can get that back by taking in a late screening. The characters of Rice’s novel are unconcerned with finding comfort in books, so it was a delight to have a moment where form and theme become one. Honestly, if it was clear that I could still enjoy movies as they are released for the years to come, I might be able to get on board with the whole immortality thing.

Ocean’s Eleven (2001)

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Cast: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Andy Garcia

Have I Seen it Before: Oh, sure.

Did I Like It: What is the goal of a movie like this? Soderbergh is at the helm, so one might think—without any other information—that something highbrow is in the offing. But no, this film has no ambition greater than the original Ocean’s 11 (1960). Be as cool as possible with as many stars as you can get in the same room at the same time.

Thus, the movie might be the most successful film Soderbergh has ever made.

The film refreshed the heist picture, injecting it with enough of the same action which made the Mission: Impossible franchise such an action staple. Come to think of it, that series didn’t really get its stuff together until several years after this movie was release. The influence probably goes the other way, in all honesty. I started out this review not needing more from the film than what it delivers at face value, but it probably has a lot more to answer for in the modern sense of what action movies have become.

But it’s the little things which have brought me back to the film over and over again. Has there ever been a better way to order a drink than when Clooney orders whiskey? He drops in on Tess (Julia Roberts, overpowered in the film, but I’ve never thought she had much charisma in anything, so it actually works out for the best) and orders a whiskey and a whiskey. I just... I don’t even like whiskey, and if I ever live to be half as cool as that, I’ll have used my time wisely.

Maybe more independently-minded purveyors of more complicated pieces of cinematic fare. Soderbergh here might be slumming it, but with his perfunctory work, he does far better than most filmmakers content to just work in popcorn fare. Maybe Ingmar Bergman should have made a Rock Hudson/Doris Day comedy. Sergei Eisentstein should have made a Chaplin comedy. Maybe Martin Scorsese

No, that shouldn’t happen. This movie’s still worth a look if you haven’t taken it in already, and it’s better than you probably remember.

Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)

Naturally, spoilers for a recent release follow. Read at your own discretion.

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Kurt Russell*

Have I Seen it Before: No. New release, and Tarantino always keeps things fresh within certain parameters, although I’m absolutely certain I’ve seen shots of feet like that before. Damn, does that man love feet. If he does end up making a Star Trek film—as looks to be a strong possibility as his tenth and allegedly final film—be prepared to see some Starfleet officers out of their boots.

Did I Like It: I’m still processing a lot of it, but yeah, what’s not to like with Tarantino?

Every movie of his has been like hanging out with a much cooler older brother who has seen every movie you should. It also helps that he is skilled enough to distill all of those wonderful things into expertly crafted entertainments in their own right.

And it’s that feeling that continues here, but with less emphasis. There are deep dives into the wonders of B+ Spaghetti Westerns and 60s action-adventure TV, and it is all a delight. Tarantino loves the 60s, and through the course of the film I cannot help but share his love. The milieu also does a remarkable job of establishing the kickass bonafides of Cliff Booth (Pitt) by having him drop kick Bruce Lee (Mike Moh) into the side of nearby sedan. It also removes the potential for any future about if Booth or Lee would win in a fight. 

There have been no shortage of hot takes about the level of violence in the film. Most of them somehow have the nerve to sound surprised that Tarantino would deign to feature elevated levels of violence in his films. It’s pretty clear that if these people weren’t born yesterday, they’ve certainly been asleep for the better part of thirty years.

Even so, the violence is different here than anything we’ve seen from Tarantino before. For one thing—along with the language—it is remarkably restrained, until it isn’t. The worst examples of violence are perpetrated against women, which in and of itself is problematic, but at the same time Pitt and DiCaprio viciously murder two of the more unrepentant killers in modern history, Susan Atkins and Patricia Krenwinkel (along with their companion Charles “Tex” Watson). 

But then again—just like with Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds (2009)—history is turned on its ear, and by the time Manson’s assassins meet their grisly end, they’ve really only broken and entered (that’s the past tense of breaking and entering, right?). 

It’s certainly given me more complex things to think about than the cathartic end of Adolf Hitler in Basterds. 

And all of that leave me with even more interesting things to consider. With Helter Skelter thwarted before it could get off the ground, how does that change the makeup of pop culture? Does Manson (Damon Herriman) and his family pick themselves up, brush themselves off, and start all over again? With Manson’s prophecies fully disproven, does the family unravel, leaving old Charlie a wandering racist vagabond, without his infamy to fuel his hateful ego? Does Sharon Tate become the delightful screen presence that her brief time in front of the camera hinted at, or will she become a side note in cinematic history? That pretty lady who was once married to Roman Polanski?

Could that be the takeaway? Everybody in Hollywood is destined to be a little less famous than they would like to be? I’m content to think that isn’t the thesis, because ultimately this is Tarantino, and his latest film fulfills its promise by being a symphony of strange and unusual things. I could unpack every element, but I would need several thousand more words and at least another screening or two before I could hope to do it justice. It will stick with you long after the director of the Red Apple cigarette commercial calls “cut.” And—assuming you’re into Tarantino—you’ll like it, too.

*It proved more difficult than I might have otherwise thought to come up with a fourth billed actor, as nearly every other actor and character is a cypher throughout the movie. Even Manson, arguably the only catalyst for a plot in the film, appears for maybe a minute, and does precisely nothing. The award has to go to Russell, since he also pulls narration duty.