Dune (1984)

Director: David Lynch

Cast: Kyle MacLachlan, Francesca Annis, Brad Dourif, Patrick Stewart

Have I Seen it Before: Never. So here’s what I did that was kind of stupid. When Dune (2021) came out, in one of my book-buying binges, I picked up Frank Herbert’s original novel and told myself that I wasn’t going to watch any of the films until I read the source material. Cut to three years later and I finally got through that thing* and I have a lot catching up to do elsewhere.

That doesn’t really account for the additional thirty-five-plus years I’ve spent avoiding the film.

Did I Like It: In the first few minutes, there was a very real chance I was going to hate the film very, very deeply. Opening with a V.O. narration is usually a way to get me to check out, having it come from a floating head among the cosmos would pretty much seal the deal of my antipathy. That this opening from Princess Irulan (Virginia Madsen) is so weirdly uncertain that it really felt like I could start writing my review in the first five minutes.

Then again, injecting the character into the film in this way is a pretty faithful adaptation of the book itself. That may be the film’s biggest ambition and ultimate weakness. It is a slavishly faithful adaptation, but feels the need to zip through all of the story points to get things in around two hours. What Herbert does best doesn’t get any time to simmer here, so instead we get a lot of exposition machines flitting in and out of the frame.

And yet, I can’t completely dismiss the film either. It does manage to effectively depict the worlds of the Duneiverse at a time when science fiction films had to often make do with their limitations.

*I didn’t read the appendices. Even I have my limits.

The Exorcist III (1990)

Director: William Peter Blatty

Cast: George C. Scott, Ed Flanders, Jason Miller, Brad Dourif

Have I Seen it Before: Never. But I was oddly excited to get to this one, based on its reputation as fundamentally better than Exorcist II: The Heretic (1990) but, as it turned out, I’ve had recent dental work I’ve enjoyed more than that film, so that’s hardly conclusion. It also deals with the fate (for lack of a better term) of my favorite character from both the original film and novel, Damien Karras (Miller).

Did I Like It: I certainly wished I liked it more, with everything mentioned above. The problems pile up pretty quickly beyond the pitch, though. Scott lurches through the film alternately whispering and shouting at people with no apparent sense to which mode he is in at any given time, nearly to the point that I became concerned he did that for his entire career. There are a number of editing choices that feel like they may have been made with the editor under the impression that there was a bomb attached to the moviola. Also, for a film marginally about Damien Karras, I feel like the character as depicted here is somewhat divorced from the one we know from the film, and far more egregiously, depressingly underused.

But the real problem is that the film always reeks of studio interference. While “The Exorcist III” looks better on a poster, this movie isn’t about an Exorcist of any kind. The studio saw that and knew they could fix a problem they themselves created. John Carpenter was circling the director’s chair at one point, but realized his own ideas of interjecting an exorcism into this story was against the whole point, and certainly not what William Peter Blatty wanted. Cut to Blatty himself directing, and Warner Bros. becomes hell-bent on interjecting Nicol Williamson into the film. It deflates the whole third act, and leaves the entire film feeling inert at best.

And yet, I still want to read Legion… So at least there’s that.

*Maybe if that film had come with nitrous…

Child’s Play 3 (1991)

Director: Jack Bender

Cast: Justin Whalin, Perrey Reeves, Jeremy Sylvers, Brad Dourif

Have I Seen it Before: Of all the movies in the series released to theaters, I have such little fundamental memory of this one, that I’m tempted to say I never actually have.

Did I Like It: Andrew Robinson shows up for a brief supporting turn. When his name was in the credits, and when he first showed up as the mildly sadistic Sergeant Botnick, that I remarked, “Oh, good! Andrew Robinson is in this.” It was the last demonstrably pleasurable thought I had about the film, and was followed with a general curiosity as to why Robinson couldn’t be bothered with returning for Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988), but was fine doing this.

Clearly, something isn’t working for this film. A depressingly more-of-the-same bare bones plot, a climax that might be the most perfunctory of any horror movie I can readily recall, and far too many moments which feel like they were specifically orchestrated to find their way into a teaser trailer all add up to a movie that feels rushed before you even realize that the time between this  film and Child’s Play 2 (1990) was only nine months.

I’d hate to build this review on the feelings others might have about it, but consider: It isn’t exactly like—as with almost any other horror franchise film in existence—there is some devoted sub-group of people who insist that the film is actually worth a damn, even if that group is those who were responsible for the film’s inception. There’s not even an alternate take I can find which might frame the film as anything other than a bankrupt endeavor.

It feels weird to be mostly pleased with the experience of the last film and so down on this one, but it’s hard to not be underwhelmed by a horror series in stasis. Thankfully, other, weirder things are still to come.

Child’s Play 2 (1990)

Director: John Lafia

Cast: Alex Vincent, Jenny Agutter, Gerrit Graham, Brad Dourif

Have I Seen it Before: Not terribly dissimilar from the first film in the series, I’m relatively sure I caught at least large swaths of the film on cable over the years, but the poster was far more memorable than anything else.

Did I Like It: Is there any other horror series which more aptly eschews the normal boundaries of criticism. The first film is silly at its core, but somehow manages to harness a fundamental tension that keeps it afloat. Later films in the series are fueled by that silliness.

And so this middle portion of the series feels strange. By all rational expectations, this film should be a pale echo of something that had no right to work any level in the first place.

And yet, for a particular kind of horror fan, this film works just as well, if not even better than the first. The series begins to not feel the slight shame it had for itself in the early goings. Even if the final metamorphosis is incomplete, there is some pleasure in watching it begin.

Additionally, from a technical standpoint, this are far better. There’s far less of the need to dwell on the rules of Dambala and soul transfer—this series is still far, far away from making those elements at all watchable—and that allows a bit more time to focus on Chucky (Dourif) as a puppet, and that part of the creation has certainly improved in the two years since the last film. This one could get away from putting its central baddie in full view on the poster and not have the movie be laughed out of multiplexes across the country.

Ultimately, that elemental wielding of the series’ most basic elements is going to be the wrong direction to take things, but here things feel just insubstantial enough to avoid having anything about which one might complain. Small praise, to be sure, but given the state of horror in the late 80s and early 90s, that should all probably be read as fawning praise.

Child’s Play (1988)

Director: Tom Holland

Cast: Catherine Hicks, Chris Sarandon, Alex Vincent, Brad Dourif

Have I Seen It Before: I’m certain that at some point I’ve sat down and watched this movie from beginning to end, but is it possible I’ve actually caught fifteen minutes here and there on cable screenings over the last thirty years? Yes, absolutely.

The film’s poster is the real memorable thing, isn’t it, though? No, I’m not talking about the one featured in this review, which positively screams to me that someone at the studio was more than a little ashamed about what was really at the heart of the terror of this film. I’m talking about the one that was plastered in every video store in the late 80s that jettisoned anything resembling shame, single-handedly torpedoed the My Buddy toy line, and led this video renter to eventually write a short story where the covers of horror videos come to life to get the drop on some unsuspecting kid who would be far less frightened if he actually got to watch the movies involved.

Did I Life It: From all that, you might be forgiven if you thought I didn’t like it. Surely, there are rough edges all around. The puppet is clearly a puppet, except when he’s at a distance and clearly a little person dressed as a puppet. The mythology is ridiculous (and indeed is a the vehicle of many a film of self-deprecation to come). The kid (Vincent) is only believable or effective when he appears to be in real danger (which is impressive enough).

But maybe it was a byproduct of my mood (which should always try to be surpassed in criticism), but far more likely it is as a result of the runtime, which kept the film from wearing out its welcome, but I suddenly found myself searching for Child’s Play 2 (1990) and on available via streaming. If that doesn’t count as some sort of endorsement for a horror movie, I don’t know what does.

Halloween II (2009)

Director: Rob Zombie

Cast: Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Sheri Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif

Have I Seen it Before: Yes. After my initial reactions to Halloween (2007), I’m not entirely sure why I would subject myself to it, and I even remember having a good laugh at the fact that the first time I tried to watch it on disc, my PS3 refused to recognize the disc.

Almost as if it were trying to protect me.

Did I Like It: I think one of the big problems I had with Zombie’s original film was that for all of the hype of his “unique vision,” the film couldn’t help but just be a tinny, discordant retread of the really original Halloween (1978).

Can’t really say that about this one, now, can we?

If we really must deal with a Michael Myers (Mane) stripped of any of the artifice of previous films (indeed, he lurches through large portions of the film unmasked, an he even talks) then maybe, just maybe this is the best possible version of that interpretation? I’m tempted to say it is. I’m confident that this is a much better film than Zombie’s first attempt. I’m even pleased to say that Zombie’s largely kept his worst impulses under control, aside from a few moments.

The visual flourishes show a greater deal of imagination on Zombie’s part, and the violence is once again unflinching.

That might be the one problem I continue to have with Zombie’s attempts. The violence is unsettling, which is certainly a choice. It keeps us from being desensitized in our passive observation, but despite all of this, I can’t help but think Zombie still view Myers as the hero of the piece. He’s ready to tear apart every other character (sometimes literally) and make them angry, hateful version of their predecessors. Is there no hope—if even for catharsis—in a Rob Zombie movie? Is that the whole point?