Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1983)

Director: Tommy Lee Wallace

Cast: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O’Herlihy, Michael Currie

Have I Seen it Before: I mean, almost always under protest, but yeah…

Did I Like It: There’s seems to be a moment in the life of every reviled sequel where people travel full circle on the spectrum of hating a movie to then turning around and insisting that a the film is not just better than we remember it, but in fact a secret work of genius.

Both reactions smack of being disingenuous.

This film isn’t quite as bad as it was judged on early reactions. Indeed, the film possesses both a John Carpenter score and cinematography from Dean Cundey. Those two elements alone would recommend a film on spec. 

The story is interesting enough, for the most part, if a little derivative of other films. Indeed, the initial hostile reaction to the film was not only too strong, but likely short-sighted. Had moviegoers gone for it more enthusiastically, then the series might have continued with its anthology hopes, and we could have gotten an army of Carpenter-produced (and scored) films with Dean Cundey’s camerawork before the bloom fully fell off the jack-o-lantern. It would have distinguished the series far better from its contemporaries, at the very least.

But, really? The movie kind of sucks. Maybe it establishes mood more effectively than the subsequent sequels even attempted. Maybe it goes to the wall with its bleak aesthetic and leaves it up to the viewer as to whether every kid in America is going to get their skull eaten by Stonehenge-powered Halloween masks…

And when I write that last sentence, the whole damn falls apart. First of all, why is every kid in America only interested in these three masks? Did no one want to be Batman for Halloween? Frankenstein’s Monster? Hell, Michael Myers (especially as the original Halloween (1978) is airing throughout the film)? Who the hell wants to be a Jack-o-Lantern? 

Beyond the fundamental implausibility of the whole conceit, the special effects we’re subjected to during this process are ridiculous to the point of being embarrassing. They take me right out of the movie…

But I still can’t help but wonder what the series would have looked like in another world… 

Stephen King's IT (1990)

As long as Beyond The Cabin In The Woods is doing their Stephen King run, I’m thinking entries around this period of time will all have a certain theme. We will re-join our other program already in progress just as soon as we can.

Director: Tommy Lee Wallace

Cast: Tim Reid, Tim Curry, and some White People

Have I Seen it Before: How much time do you have?

Did I Like It: Well…

The TV Movie adaptation of Stephen King’s novel clocks in at 187 minutes (depending on what version of the story you watch) and, in the sober, clear-minded reality of 2018, maybe 6 minutes of unquestionably work. The unfathomable demon that most often appears as Pennywise The Dancing Clown (Tim Curry) only appears for about 20 minutes of the production, and while his performance is the one culturally resonant part of the proceedings, even his returns diminish to the point where the last time we see him as a ghostly apparition just before the Loser’s Club descends to face IT’s “true form,” I am less filled with a sense of dread, and more marveling at Curry’s performance, which is manically magnetic, even when he isn’t given much to do.

But those six minutes, though…

I’ll admit, when this film works best it is merely reaching back into disparate memories I have of catching moments of its original broadcast in 1990. The image of Pennywise instructing the now-adult Henry Bowers (Michael Cole) to “kill them all” particularly did me in. To this day, I’m convinced the evening sky of November 20, 1990 possessed a full moon, and forever ruined me as a human being, and continues to give me just a jot of an adrenaline spike whenever I see a clown, including Bill Skarsgård’s performance in the more recent 2017 adaptation. In truth, the almanac insists that the date in question was waxing crescent. To be frank, the truth only disturbs me more. Was I imagining it? Or was something else happening?

Anyway.

The rest of the performances are made up of slightly mis-cast but amiable presences, made all the more precious by the fact that many of them have since passed on. Harry Anderson doesn’t quite connect with me as the slightly cynical adult Richie Tosier. Honestly, at that point in his career, Bob Saget would have been great in the role, and probably destroyed the American Broadcasting Company, Lorimar Television, and all of Western Civilization in the process. John Ritter is nice to see also, but I can’t help but look at him and feel as if he’s trying to some sort of farce in the piece to play. Jonathan Brandis is just so damned earnest, that I could practically hear the producers of Seaquest DSV typing the phrase “Wesley Crusher of the Ocean” into their Wordstars. 

A few years ago I couldn’t have imagined that I would prefer a new adaptation of King’s story, but here we are. The “original” IT is overlong, but a few chunks of gold are in there for the discerning viewer.