Party Now, Apocalypse Later Industries

Where creativity went when it said it was going out for cigarettes.
  • Home
  • BOOKS
    • THE ONCE AND FUTURE ORSON WELLES
    • IF ANY OF THESE STORIES GOES OVER 1000 WORDS...
    • ORSON WELLES OF MARS
    • THE DEVIL LIVES IN BEVERLY HILLS
    • A LOSS FOR NORMALCY
    • RIGHT - A NOVEL OF POLITICS
  • PODCASTS
    • Beyond the Cabin in the Woods
    • THE HOLODECK IS BROKEN
    • THE FOURTH WALL
    • As The Myth Turns
    • FRIENDIBALS! - TWO FRIENDS TALKING ABOUT HANNIBAL LECTER
    • DISORGANIZED! A Criminal Minds Podcast
  • MOVIE REVIEWS
  • BLOGS AND MORE
    • Bloggy B Bloggington III, DDS
    • THE HOLODECK IS BROKEN BLOG
    • REALLY GOOD MAN!
  • Home
    • THE ONCE AND FUTURE ORSON WELLES
    • IF ANY OF THESE STORIES GOES OVER 1000 WORDS...
    • ORSON WELLES OF MARS
    • THE DEVIL LIVES IN BEVERLY HILLS
    • A LOSS FOR NORMALCY
    • RIGHT - A NOVEL OF POLITICS
    • Beyond the Cabin in the Woods
    • THE HOLODECK IS BROKEN
    • THE FOURTH WALL
    • As The Myth Turns
    • FRIENDIBALS! - TWO FRIENDS TALKING ABOUT HANNIBAL LECTER
    • DISORGANIZED! A Criminal Minds Podcast
  • MOVIE REVIEWS
    • Bloggy B Bloggington III, DDS
    • THE HOLODECK IS BROKEN BLOG
    • REALLY GOOD MAN!

A Blog About Watching Movies (AKA a Blog in Search of a Better Title)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Mac Boyle February 25, 2022

Director: David Blue Garcia

Cast: Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Mark Burnahm, Moe Dunford

Have I Seen it Before: Never. I honestly only have the vaguest of memories of the first film (1974) and the remake (2003).

Did I Like It: That all being said, the film immediately operates from a disadvantage in that it is slavishly following current trends in horror. Having a legacy sequel is one thing, and I’ve largely enjoyed the trend (even if it has become ubiquitous for every franchise under the sun) but entire swaths of this movie are pulled directly from the far more innovative Halloween (2018). That leaves the film with not much to prop it up other than being purely derivative. There are few moments in this film that feel derivative.

Come to think of it, does this really qualify as a legacy sequel? There are two characters here who appear in the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), and they are both portrayed by different actors. John Larroquette returns as the narrator, but if that makes it count, it’s a marginal call at best.

In truth, the only elements which feel at all fresh (I would’t go as far as to say original) are parts that don’t add up. The various adventures of Leatherface (Burnham) have always reached for the truly disgusting. That’s their appeal. Aside from a brief flash of a chainsaw-as-penis metaphor and an unfortunate mishap with a sewer pipe, this film is tame. 

It’s been a few days since my screening of the film, and I can’t quite wrap my head around the rationale for why these young people have descended upon the town of Harlow? How did they get the money together to buy up this town? There’s also a moment where, just before becoming so much fodder for Leatherface’s chainsaw, that one of the cell-phone wielding goons threatens to cancel the maniac. Is this movie some millenlial-real-estate-fever-dream? Or is it trying to own the libs? Do I want either of these films?

When the film isn’t derivative, unnervingly tame, or inexplicable, well, it’s probably over at that point because there isn’t anything else to it. You may have already paid for the film, given its Netflix distribution, so it does still qualify as an hour and a half spent with more enjoyment than ditch digging, but not by much.

Tagstexas chainsaw massacre (2022), leatherface movies, david blue garcia, sarah yarkin, elsie fisher, mark burnham, moe dunford
  • A Blog About Watching Movies (AKA a Blog in Search of a Better Title)
  • Older
  • Newer

Powered by Squarespace

Party Now, Apocalypse Later Industries

Where creativity went when it said it was going out for cigarettes.

Where creativity went when it said it was going out for cigarettes.